Fair City couple’s real-life problem

THERE is an interesting storyline on our local soap, Fair City, on RTÉ the moment.

It concerns the effect a newborn is having on a once-loving relationship. It portrays the couple displaying conflicting emotions and one can see how both partners are beginning to feel they are not being listened to, that their needs are not being met, and the audience can see that the bond is being increasingly ruptured.

This is a scenario played out among many couples, with one partner totally embracing the needs of the newborn, frequently to the exclusion of the other partner who often wishes life to continue as before.

As the soap is depicting, this is a recipe for discord.

It is our contention at AIM Family Services that a professional intervention at this stage of a relationship can ward off more serious problems for the future.

The intervention – in the form of a two-hour check-up – is designed to ascertain how the couple see their present relationship, their roles as parents and how they feel they are coping with the new arrival and parenting.

It can alert the parties to seek couples’ counselling at an early stage if it is found to be needed.

When the resentment and anger is left to fester, counselling agencies, like our centre, see the resultant fallout for the couple, often several years down the line when relationships are severely damaged and children may have become negatively affected.

There is mounting empirical evidence to support this preventative approach for families.

The US and other countries are pumping many millions into programmes designed to help and enhance the family as they believe the collateral damage of broken homes is a higher price to pay for the individuals concerned, for their children and indeed for society as a whole.

Some Irish agencies have taken up the gauntlet and are providing this intervention, including AIM Family Services with the “relationship check-up”.

In keeping with the findings of the recent ESRI/Family Support Agency Report on Family Dynamics and Family Types in Ireland, 1986-2006, AIM calls on the Government to provide more funding to allow us to offer this early intervention to couples on a free or sliding scale, and ensure it is as normal as a six-week check-up for the baby or an NCT for the car.

Our constitution claims to cherish the family ... let us start to do that.

Deirdre McDevitt

Chair

Aim Family Services

Dame Street

Dublin 2