Bertie can hit the front again — as a tipster

In view of Bertie Ahern’s astonishing proclivity to accumulate large amounts of sterling cash from “good bets on horses”, I think we have finally found where his talent lies — as a newspaper racing tipster specialising in the British turf circuit.

I suggest that you might profitably hire him to fill this niche, on a retainer commensurate with his ‘track record’ of delivering in this area.

Traditionally, many tipsters adopt a nom-de-plume from the name of a distinguished equine champion. In Bertie’s case, I think an appropriate moniker would be Soldier of Fortune after the talented winner of last year’s renewal of the Budweiser Irish Derby. I feel the name is an elegant synthesis of Bertie’s twin vocations of Soldier of Destiny and Accumulator of Fortune.