How science has just delivered the ultimate pet — the Dana of cats

This column, on this day, is a safe house, offering refuge to readers who may lose the will to live if they have to read one more word about Bertie Ahern’s legacy or Brian Cowen’s cabinet.

It concerns a major advance in genetic engineering. Finally, they’ve done it. They’ve bred a cat without dander. The cat looks like a cat, prowls like a cat and mews like a cat, but has no dander.

The madly allergic portion of the human population, who already spend a fortune on hypoallergenic makeup, furniture and Dyson vacuum cleaners, can now buy a cat which is — according to its breeders, Los Angeles, firm Allerca Lifestyle Pets — completely hypoallergenic. It’s guaranteed not to bring its owners to the nearest accident and emergency ward with breathing difficulties or to the nearest pharmacy baying for anti-histamines.