Bertie needs to get his Spiderman suit back from the cleaners — fast

HOW many Bertie Aherns are there? And which one will do the reshuffle?

There's a Bertie we're all used to, and if he does it the result is likely to be cautious and unimaginative to the point of disaster. There's another Bertie, more often shown to the rest of the world (and very occasionally at home), crisp, concise, a problem-solver. If the second Bertie does the reshuffle, the results will be a lot more interesting.

Then there's a third Bertie, somewhere between the two of them. This is the guy who says "if it was up to me, I'd have all these problems sorted out in jig time." Now, of course, he never says that directly, but you know when you see that hangdog, apologetic look on Oireachtas Report that it's the third Bertie you're about to see.