Duvet days would’ve been a lot less hassle

So retrograde has Mercury turned out to be that I have found it safer to remain mostly under the duvet, for fear of encountering confusion, delays and frustration, writes Suzanne Harrington

THE internet tells me that Mercury is in retrograde until April 15 and that I should avoid communication, new projects, travel, signing contracts, buying cars, and making speculative investments. Fine. I’ll stay in bed. I just wish I had known about this sooner, and I would not have attempted to get my hair cut, find a new lodger, upgrade my computer, or communicate with other humans, particularly teenagers.

No, I’d have taken to my bed the second Mercury started sliding backward though the heavens, like a bowling ball with a broken handbrake, crushing all in its path via miscommunication chaos.