Cold coffee where the sun don’t shine

Good morning. How’d you like your coffee? Long black? Flat white? Up your ass? No, this is not the greeting of a fatally hungover barista, but January health advice from that highly respected lifestyle website, Goop, writes Suzanne Harrington.

You know, the one that advocates steaming your vagina like it’s a bag of kale, before shoving a jade egg inside for reasons that have never been made entirely clear.

Now, having successfully annoyed your fanny, it’s time to infuriate your rectum.