Getting to terms with my mother on Whatsapp

Like I said, since my mother has got the hang of Whatsapp, frankly there’s no telling where she might surprise me with a call.

I’ve been startled in the bathroom, a flowerbed and up a Stira loft ladder. But this morning when she calls, it’s different: I don’t know where I am at all.

“How are you?” she says. “Just a sec while I find my bearings,” I say. I look around the room: first I need to remember where I lost them. “I’m fine,” I say, “I’m in bed.” “At this hour?” she says, “it’s 9am over here.” I remember now where I lost them. It was at a wedding I attended last night. But an Irish wedding requires Irish stamina. I’m from London: it’s a work in progress. I also remember where “over here” is. My mother is in Turkey, holidaying with my sister and her girlfriend. The infinity pool looked wicked on Whatsapp.