We should respond in kind as Muslim community reaches out

I am afraid to go the French capital, and certainly do not want to bring them [my children] there, writes Alison O’Connor.

MY CHILDREN have found a new reason to claim we are in contention for the worst parents of the year award 2017. They are passionate in their indignation, especially as they know they have the moral superiority of a promise having been made and broken.

The latest outrage centres around a desire to go to Disneyland in Paris. Indeed a promise was made around two years ago. There was even a makeshift piggy bank put on the kitchen counter with a white sticker and the words “Disney Fund” scrawled across it.

Shortly after its appearance family circumstances intervened to ensure that we could not travel. That no longer pertains so we should be free to go, or at least making some sort of plan. They know Paris is one of my favourite cities in the world. I spent almost a year there, studying, at the end of my singlehood, and subsequently returned to get married there — such is my affection for the city.

The problem, which I do not wish to share with them, is that I am afraid to go the French capital, and certainly do not want to bring them there. Nor do I want to tell them this. We’ve spent the last few weeks playing a cat and mouse game of “but you promised” and “why can’t we” to which I am responding with that as much parental non-comittedness as I can muster. With all the advice I’ve read this week on talking to your children about terror attacks — raising the fear of ourselves and Mickey Mouse being caught in a suicide bombing is not something I’ve seen addressed.

I don’t want to make them fearful of overseas travel, of adventure, of a city, and a country, that I love. Nor do I want to make them fearful of public events such as concerts or theme parks. We haven’t got to that point yet but like everything else in child rearing it is only a matter of time. When I read the news of the Manchester attack on Tuesday morning my first instinct was to switch it off and stay away from developments for a few hours. I certainly didn’t want the radio on over breakfast. This was way too close to home; this was small girls and their parents being blown to smithereens after a concert. It no longer seemed a vague threat, but a far more realistic one.

In his show on Radio One an obviously shocked Ryan Tubridy, himself a father of two daughters, who has attended many concerts with them, and collected them from many others, articulated really well the utter shock and horror at what had happened and where it had happened — the delight that kids get from concerts and the pure joy and fun there can be between parents and children attending a concert together.

So I simply don’t know what approach to take now, other than continuing to dodge the Disney question. To change your plans or indeed not make them at all does seem like giving into the terrorists, but I’d just rather not make that point with my children or myself, if I’m totally honest.

But the Manchester attack feeling so uncomfortably close to home brought the realisation that we don’t need to be using our passport and travelling abroad, to feel uneasy.

So as a citizen I’d like to know that the gardaí are on top of this — clearly it would be operationally unsound for them to reveal anything detailed. However with all the controversy that has been surrounding the force in recent times it is a worry that the fight against the terrorist threat is another area that might not be what it should.

Is the force properly resourced to handle this? Suddenly I’m more interested to know the views and approach of Simon Coveney and Leo Varadkar to terrorism and preventing it.

Driving through a Muslim area of Dublin on Tuesday morning, very near where I live, I saw a group of men standing huddled on the street. What a horrible day to be Muslim, I thought, not least since we have no hate crime legislation here.

It was because I live near this area, that I recently went to a conference organised by the wonderfully named Muslim Sisters of Eire (MSOE). This group of women want to reach out to other communities and with the conference wanted to break down what they see as stereotypes towards the hijab — a scarf which covers their head.

One of the people to address that gathering was Garda Darren Coventry Howlett, from the Garda Racial, Intercultural & Diversity Office. He gave an absolutely inspirational speech to the women who had gathered. He spoke with enormous empathy and it was all too easy to see how he would gain the trust of people in a community that he worked with.

Are there enough like him? How much effort is being made to get to know the Muslim community, to allow them feel confident enough to report something they might feel worried about within their own community? How much information are we gathering to share with other countries on the terrorist threat, so that we can get some back? What about Muslim members of An Garda Síochána, people who look like those they are policing? Where are they?

We don’t wish to overreact, and seem to have had a fairly successful approach so far, but might we be too complacent?

The MSOE are holding another event — an Interfaith Iftar dinner, during the Islamic month of Ramadan. With impeccable timing they point out that “unity is the key to the success of any society and this begins with a willingness to join hands on common ground”. They invited people along to the meal “as we discuss the importance of unity and the role that we each play in setting aside differences in order to eradicate bigotry and intolerance in our communities”.

I also see from their Twitter feed they were recently given a tour of the Mansion House by the Lord Mayor of Dublin Brendan Carr. I may never admire their wearing of the veil but I do admire their efforts to reach out beyond their faith. After listening to the disturbing results of research on anti-Muslim discrimination in Ireland at that conference it is easy to see why it makes absolute sense for these women to want to reach out and try to eradicate bigotry and intolerance.

But it makes equal sense for us to respond in kind. We haven’t had an atrocity here, and hopefully never will, but it’s far better to put in the effort now rather than trying to row back after something horrendous has occurred. We may feel that issues at an international level are out of our control and scary but there is nothing to stop us acting at local level.

As for Disneyland — I realise it registers a zero on the solidarity scale — but I’m going to keep on ducking that question for the foreseeable.