'I don't want to picture what will happen if my daughter becomes a child bride'

Two families facing deportation from Ireland say their children attempted suicide rather than return to countries where danger awaits

Since she learned in March that she and her mother would be deported back to South Africa, the girl became suicidal and was hospitalized for seven days after her suicide attempt. File photo: iStock

Words half swallowed by heaving, gut-wrenching sobs, Anna described cutting her 13-year-old daughter free from a ligature just in time last week. Minutes later, and she would have found her precious “miracle” baby’s body limp and lifeless in the small bathroom of their accommodation.

Her daughter, called Rosie in this article to protect her identity, became suicidal since she learned in March that she and her mother would be deported back to South Africa. They are terrified that her father, a man from Mozambique, will try to kidnap her – again – to marry her off to a local king in his community for financial gain.

The child would be his 10th bride. Her mother fled South Africa three years ago to prevent the kidnapping.

Her ex has extensive contacts in South Africa, she said, and although she loves her home country, returning there would mean allowing her only daughter to be trafficked as a child bride for the financial gain of her father – the thought of which collapses her again into distraught tears.

Her ex had tried to kidnap their child from the age of 10 so that she could be “groomed” to become the local king’s wife, Anna said.

I’m from South Africa, that is not part of my culture. I first thought he was joking when he said it. How can a 10-year-old child be thought of as a wife? 

Three days after Rosie’s birth, her father left for Mozambique and only returned years later to bring her back to Mozambique to marry off to the local king in return for wealth and status in his local community, Anna said.

“I never thought I’d become a mother. I know lots of people who have died in childbirth,” Anna said. “She was my miracle baby. I survived and had a healthy child. We became one. I thanked God for this miracle and vowed to cherish her for the rest of my life.

“I couldn’t leave her. We ran away. I stayed with a friend in Johannesburg, I went to the police, but they said to talk it out with him, that he was the child’s father and should be in her life.

I had to leave. We came straight to Ireland. I heard it was a safe county where children’s rights were taken seriously. I thought ‘she’ll be safe here’.

“People come from all over Africa to be in South Africa. There are problems there but we were surviving. And he wanted to take her to Mozambique instead. To marry off a child is a total taboo for us in South Africa.

“I don’t want to picture what would happen to my daughter if he takes her there,” she said through heavy tears. “I don’t mind going back for me. But I know what will happen to her if she lands in South Africa.

“If he sees me without my daughter, he can kill me, I’m already dead inside anyway. But I can’t let him take her. I could never forgive myself for that.” 

Rosie was hospitalized for seven days after her suicide attempt. She returned from hospital to their Donegal home on Monday. The family has integrated into local life in Letterkenny.

Anna, whose name has been changed to protect her daughter’s identity, was working in Tesco and studying legal administration before her work permit was revoked in March.

“She’s in school in Letterkenny, she plays football, she loves it here,” Anna said. “Now, she’s scared.”

Emilia and her children

Another family, staying in Lismore, Co Waterford, was also facing deportation this month. Emilia, whose name has been changed to protect her children’s identities, fled Nigeria with her son, now 14, and daughter, now 12, three years ago.

Going home would be a death sentence, she said. Her husband was kidnapped in 2022 and she has not heard from him since.

“He is dead,” Emilia said.

The family had a farm and a hospitality business in Abuja, central Nigeria.

“Men came to burn down the business after we fled. I was sent photos of it. They say Nigeria is safe but so many people are being killed there. Children are killed in their beds.

“Boko Haram [Nigeria’s deadliest terrorist group] is there and the Fulani herdsmen.” 

Fulani herders, a large semi-nomadic group, had been bringing their cattle through the family’s farm, destroying their crops, to access a river in their property, Emilia said. Thousands have been killed in clashes between Fulani herders and farmers in Nigeria.

Climate change, a growing population requiring increased agricultural production and the Boko Haram insurgency in the northeast has forced herders to travel further south in recent years, prompting often bloody clashes over limited resources, many in central Nigeria, where Emilia’s family lived.

Abubakar Shekau, centre, the leader of Nigeria's Islamic extremist group Boko Haram is surrounded by his fighters in 2014. File photo: AP/Boko Haram

A deadly Fulani militia has also evolved, which in 2014 was ranked as one of the world’s most deadly terrorist groups by the Global Terrorism Index.

That index now ranks Nigeria as the sixth most acutely impacted country by terrorism in the world. It is also the sixth largest country in the world with a population of some 237.5 million.

Emilia said that her husband had tried to stop Fulani herders from bringing cattle through their land, which she said destroyed all their crops. He was slashed in the head with a machete and was in a coma for seven days in 2021 during one conflict, she said.

I saw a video of my husband on the ground, with a machete on his stomach, begging men not to kill his family. 

"The men were speaking Hausa [a language of northern Nigeria]. I ran away with the children.” 

Although the family settled into Ireland, her son has become suicidal with the threat of deportation. He was hospitalised last week in Waterford general hospital.

“He is adamant that he will take his own life if he has to go back,” his distraught mother said. "His psychiatrist said that he does not have a medical condition, he is just very scared.

“His father was killed there and now he has to go back. The children love Ireland. They’re in school, they have friends, they play football.

“We came to Ireland to seek refuge. My husband’s friend told us to come here, he said we’d be safe here.” 

Deferrals

Both families believed they were facing deportation in early August. But they were notified just before this article was to be published that their deportations would be deferred until a decision can be made on an appeal of their cases.

Immigration lawyer Susan Doyle said that suicide attempts and self-harm among teenagers facing deportation are now frighteningly common and on the increase.

“The State has an obligation to consider the best interests of the child under our Constitution and the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child,” Ms Doyle said. “The best interest of the child is always supposed to be paramount.” 

But the Department of Justice had initially ignored their pleas for a stay on the deportations for the children to get treatment, despite medical letters as evidence that the children were suicidal, Ms Doyle said.

The children have integrated into their local communities, going to school and playing with local football clubs over the three years they have lived there, she said.

A Section 3(11) application can be made to revoke a deportation order where a person is at serious risk of harm, Ms Doyle said.

“We've established there is serious risk of harm.

“The application can take about a year to process so what we're saying is, ‘can you please give us an undertaking not to deport the child pending the outcome of our application?’ 

“Because you can still be deported while this application is being processed.” 

Although the family settled into Ireland, Emilia's son has become suicidal with the threat of deportation. He was hospitalised last week in Waterford general hospital. File photo: iStock

In cases up to one-and-a-half years ago, applications for a stay on a deportation order pending an appeal were issued immediately in cases of self-harm less acute than the children’s mentioned in this article, Ms Doyle said.

But now, even in cases where children have attempted suicide, with irrefutable medical evidence from hospitals and psychiatrists, the State is not always giving the same quick undertaking, she said.

A statement from the Department of Justice said: “Department officials aim to process families in a holistic manner and the consideration of a child’s immigration case is highly dependent on the status of their parents.

“Each child’s circumstances are examined in detail before a deportation order is made and voluntary return is offered. If deportation orders are made against a family, the parents are informed of this and are required to engage with Gardaí to make arrangements to leave Ireland with a timeframe.” 

The department operates a voluntary return programme to assist people to return prior to the issuance of a deportation order, it said. “This programme offers families a re-integration grant to help them re-settle in their home countries.” 

It is open to any family to make representations under Section 3(11) of the Immigration Act 1999, requesting to have their deportation order revoked, the department said.

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“This gives people the opportunity to outline if there has been a change in their circumstances which means the order should be revoked, including on medical grounds."

A request made under Section 3(11) does not suspend the enforcement of a deportation order. However, in exceptional circumstances, the enforcement of a deportation order can be suspended while a Section 3(11) application is considered, the department said.

“The minister and the department recognise that an enforced removal is an unfortunate and challenging experience for a child, which is why they are carried out only as a measure of last resort when the family concerned has not removed themselves from the State as they are legally required to,” the department said.

“Significant planning is undertaken in advance of removal to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the people being removed.”