'I never understand the rationale behind supporting a paedophile'

Sex abuse survivors describe the pain of seeing loved ones support their abusers in court, often deterring justice

'Irish Examiner' reporter Alison'O Reilly speaking to abuses survivor Alan Jenkins. The 41-year-old waived his right to anonymity. Picture: Gareth Chaney

Survivors of rape and sexual abuse are "devastated" when families and friends back their abusers in court and glowing character references are provided on their behalf, the CEO of the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre has said.

Rachel Morrogh warned that such support may deter victims from reporting a crime or seeking to heal from their trauma.

Her comments come after former Daughters of Charity youth worker, Paul Craven was jailed for four years for sexually abusing his nephew 30 years ago. 

Craven was supported throughout his trial by his wife and family.

The 55-year-old from Ballyfermot, Dublin, was convicted on 11 counts of abuse including indecent assault and sexual assault on dates between 1989 and 1999.

His 41-year-old victim, Alan Jenkins, waived his right to anonymity and told the Irish Examiner: “I can’t believe he made a career looking after vulnerable kids and people are still supporting him”.

Throughout the 10-day trial, and sentence hearing, Craven was supported by his wife Breda, his mother, and siblings.

Paul Craven was supported throughout his trial by his wife and family. Picture: IrishPhotoDesk.ie

The court heard Mr Jenkins suffered with alcoholism, depression, and nightmares over the abuse, and was left isolated by his family.

Despite the evidence of abuse before the court, presiding Judge Sinéad Ní Chúlacháin was given five “glowing” affidavits for Craven from people who work or have worked with vulnerable children.

They included Craven's former teacher Finn Essex, a former colleague with the Daughters of Charity Róisín Elliot, Mark Murray who worked with him in Jobstown family centre, Paul Curtis a youth worker, and a Mr Sutton.

Alan Jenkins said he “couldn’t believe” that people "working with kids would put their name” to such a character reference.

Ms Morrogh told the Irish Examiner that it is not uncommon for rapists and child abusers to be supported by family and friends.

“We regularly see situations where abusers are supported by their spouses or other family members, particularly in cases of past child abuse,” she said.

These supporters may be openly hostile and intimidating towards the victim or survivor in the case, even where the perpetrator has pleaded guilty or been found guilty in court.

“This causes enormous distress to the victim or survivor. It is hard enough to take steps towards justice by yourself, but if you witness support for the person who has committed such violence against you, it can be overwhelming.” 

She said this type of support sends “a devastating message that they are not believed and that what has happened to them does not matter”.

Ultimately, she said it may deter victims from reporting a crime or even seeking to heal from their trauma.

Ex-Garda William Ryan

In another prominent case before the courts last week, Garda William Ryan was jailed for six years after he sexually assaulted and falsely imprisoned a woman while on duty in Co Wicklow in September 2020.

William Ryan was convicted on three charges of sexual assault and one of falsely imprisoning a woman at Aughrim Garda Station. Picture: Leon Farrell

The 41-year-old married father was convicted on three charges of sexual assault and one of falsely imprisoning the woman at Aughrim Garda Station. Ryan had denied the charges but was convicted by a jury. 

His barrister told the court last week he now fully accepted his guilt on all charges and resigned from the gardaí in September.

His wife gave evidence saying she was supporting her husband while the court received 35 references or testimonials for Ryan including one from Superintendent Paul Hogan who served in the same district at the time.

His victim said she “never felt so uncomfortable, so afraid” as she did during the trial.

“He has broken me twice,” she said of her abuser. 

“The first was when he sex­ually assaulted and imprisoned me. 

The other was when I came to court and had to go through a trial.” 

A number of survivors of rape and sexual violence who helped the state put their abuser behind bars have described how they had to endure the wrath of their perpetrators' supporters.

Fiona Doyle

Fiona Doyle, originally from south Dublin, was raped repeatedly by her father Patrick O’Brien between the years of 1973 and 1982. 

The first assault happened on the night before her first communion.

He eventually pleaded guilty on 16 counts of rape and indecent assault and was jailed in 2013; he has since died.

Fiona Doyle, author and rape survivor said we need to 'see the faces of the person providing this sort of support'. Picture: Moya Nolan

Fiona’s mother Breda supported O'Brien throughout the case, but records Fiona received in recent years under the Freedom of Information Act from Tusla show her mother was aware of the sexual abuse.

“The files I got only confirmed what I already knew,” she said.

 She was by his side at the trial, and she saw him in bed with me as a child, she knew.

“But then you get the records that show you she knew, that’s almost worse than what my dad put me through.

“The biggest regret is that the gardaí were going to charge her too, and she died. It was too late. 

"But the reality is she should have been in the dock with my dad and went to prison on the same day he did.

“The reality is my mother married a paedophile, someone who was attracted to children and that was me.”

Patrick O'Brien pleaded guilty at the Central Criminal Court to 16 charges of the rape and indecent assault of his daughter Fiona Doyle. Picture: Collins Courts.

The abuse Fiona endured as a child left her family divided with some members supporting her parents. 

She documented her story in her book Too Many Tears.

“What annoys me most of all is when people sympathise with women like my mother,” she said. 

“You’ll hear people say, ‘oh she must be a battered wife’ or ‘she’s afraid of her husband’.

“My mother was not afraid of my father.

“People are cowards, rather than visualise what an abuser has done and face up to it, the easy option is to not believe it, and to push the victim away. 

"It’s all about alienation because we spoke up and the family now is exposed.

I don’t think there isn’t a victim out there who hasn’t felt that they had someone side with the abuser.

“I never understand the rationale behind supporting a paedophile,” she continued. 

“How do they get into bed with them night after night? My mother sacrificed me."

Figures from the Central Statistics Office (CSO) show just over four out of every five (81%) victims of reported incidents of sexual offences in 2023 were female.

Of the 2,884 reported victims of sexual offences in 2023, some 2,333 were female while 551 were male.

Not all cases make it into a courtroom, but under new legislation, for those that do, character references for a person convicted of sexual offences will now have to be given under oath.

This is part of a number of measures contained in the Criminal Law (Sexual Offences and Human Trafficking) Act 2024.

Ms Doyle said we need to “see the faces of the person providing this sort of support”.

“Otherwise, it’s still like a secret,” she said. 

“My mother kept the abuse hidden in the house with her own daughter, it was better than her having an affair with a neighbour and everyone finding out.

“So, they alienate and isolate you, that is what happened to Alan Jenkins recently, he was isolated."

Shaneda Daly

Shaneda Daly is a mother of six children, from Shannon, Co Clare.

Almost 14 years ago, she waived her right to anonymity when her father, Harry Daly, a former prison officer in Limerick jail, pleaded guilty to a long history of abusing his eldest daughter.

The hardest part of my case was learning about the people who supported him,” she said. 

“My mother Rose was meant to protect and love me.

“People who support abusers need to be educated on the destruction abuse causes the victim.

Shaneda Daly waived her right to anonymity when her father, Harry Daly, a former prison officer in Limerick jail, pleaded guilty to a long history of abusing his eldest daughter.

“Some people prefer to stay quiet, and I am more upset over my mother than my father and he was the abuser.

“She continued to visit him in prison and brought him gifts and Father’s Day cards, and even though he admitted all the abuse, she waited for him when he was released from prison and went to live with him again where she remains today. 

She has said publicly that my father is the 'love of her life' and that's why she stayed with him. I will never come to terms with that. I don’t feel sorry for her, she hurt me more than him.

Shaneda’s father carefully and methodically groomed his daughter over many years almost every single day when she was a child up to her early 20s.

Over the years he gradually increased his depravity and began raping his daughter, at one point, leaving her pregnant.

On July 16, 2010, Ms Daly told gardaí about the horrific abuse she suffered at the hands of her paedophile father.

The statement reveals how, her first memory of being abused was between four and five years old when her father began touching her inappropriately.

The abuse continued and between the ages of nine and 11, her mother Rose began work at Limerick Regional Hospital as a cleaner in the evenings.

Harry Daly was convicted of raping his daughter from February 1, 1982, and November 30, 1992, and has one of the highest rape charges in the history of the State.

In 2010, he signed 227 pleas, including 103 of indecent assault and 24 of sex assault on his daughter.

“Despite all of what happened, my mother moved to live with him when he was released from the Midlands prison and that’s where she is today. I have no relationship with her," said Ms Daly.

Laura Witherow

Mother-of-one Laura Witherow and her two younger sisters Emma and Vanessa reported their stepfather John Joe Patterson to gardaí for sexually abusing them, in 2010.

Laura’s case was heard in 2014; however, it later collapsed due to a missing Garda file.

Her sisters' cases came before Nenagh Circuit Court in 2015 and Patterson was found guilty by unanimous verdict of 39 counts of sexual abuse on Emma.

Laura Witherow said that no one 'expects to be abused' in their life and 'nothing prepares you for it', but when you are abandoned by your loved one, it’s difficult to comprehend. Picture: Kieran Ryan-Benson

He then pleaded guilty to one of three counts of sexually abusing Vanessa, who was nine when the assaults began.

Laura said the worst part for her was the support her mother Frances gave to her stepfather.

She publicly called her daughters 'Satan’s children' and stood by her partner when the three girls left home over the abuse.

Speaking to the Irish Examiner Laura said: “When the person in your life who betrays you, is one of the people who is supposed to be closest to you and someone who is supposed to protect you as a child, it is in my opinion far worse than the abuse itself.

“That’s how it was for me when my so-called mother didn’t protect me from the monster that was my stepfather.

“We so often hear the term 'sperm donor' in relation to 'bad fathers'. 

"I however, have adapted this to 'egg donor' for my own mother as that’s all she was.

As a child you expect your mother above all people to love, care, and protect you and when this failed to happen, my whole world fell apart.

Ms Witherow said that no one “expects to be abused” in their life and “nothing prepares you for it”, but when you are abandoned by your loved one, it’s difficult to comprehend.

“You lose either the will or ability to trust anyone. My thought process was if my mother won’t help me then who will?

“This translates itself into low self-esteem and self-worth. 

"You question absolutely everything, and I retreated into myself because of the constant fear I was living in, and I had no support or assurances from anyone that I would be OK.” 

She added that she always "feels" for people who are isolated in any sexual abuse case.

"Alan Jenkins experienced enough trauma as a young child losing his parents only to be betrayed in the worst possible way by his uncle.

"Paul Craven abused his position of power over a small innocent child who was at the most vulnerable time in his young fragile life, a time where he should have been being treasured and cared for so carefully.

"Alan is an example of strength and resilience to all survivors."

- If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please click here for a list of support services.