Rape survivor Lorita O'Donoghue: I've never regretted waiving anonymity

She said she hopes her decision will help other rape survivors

Lorita O'Donoghue waived her right to anonymity following the rape case and the sentencing of Michael Paul O'Leary at the Central criminal court in Cork last Friday. Picture: Eddie O'Hare

A woman who was raped by her landlord in Fermoy three years ago has said that she has never regretted "for even one minute" waiving her anonymity and going public with what she went through.

Lorita O’Donoghue waived her anonymity at the Central Criminal Court where Michael Paul O’Leary, 62, of Four Winds, Ballyarthur, Fermoy, County Cork, was sentenced to a seven-year jail term last Friday.

Speaking on Monday, Ms O'Donoghue said she felt relieved that the court process has concluded, and validated due to the reasonably strong sentence imposed upon O'Leary.

She said she made the decision to waive her anonymity because of the hope she was able to draw from stories in the media of other rape survivors.

"I had seen other people, other survivors of rape that had released their names and told their story, and I got real strength and hope from those," she said.

"I was in the pits of depression and PTSD and struggling to actually cope and function every single day, and I knew these other people had gone through the other side, and it just gave me such a sense of hope. 

I really wanted to do that as well for anybody else who was struggling.

However, Ms O'Donoghue said it was extremely difficult to find the strength to enter the courtroom and to be cross examined.

"I mean, you're already struggling with what happened to you, and the aftermath of that, mentally and physically, and then to actually walk into the courtroom and tell your truth was probably the most fear I've had.

"You're sitting there and you know the truth of what happened to you. It's extremely, extremely difficult to try and relay that in a room with people you have never met before," she said.

"It's a very personal thing that's happened to you and you need to be able to articulate that while being challenged along the way."

Legal process

Ms O'Donoghue said one of the things that keeps victims from speaking about what happened to them is the difficulty of the legal process.

"I know they [barristers] are trying to do their job. I know it's, it's not personal. They do this every day of the week and it is part of the justice system," she said. 

"So I am grateful for the system and what it has done for me, it's just the fact that as a victim, you have to be very, very strong."

She said that the initial thoughts of rape and sexual assault victims is to blame themselves.

"It's our wiring," she told 96FM's Opinion Line with PJ Coogan.

"There's this kind of old ways of being doubtful about victims, and think that kind of sometimes kind of comes into a victim in the aftermath, like, oh, ‘OK, if I tell somebody what happened to me, they might blame me’.

"Your brain actually protects you as well. It's almost goes into denial mode because it's trauma, it's the trauma of that violent attack. This is what keeps victims from speaking to people, reporting it. They're embarrassed, the process is hard. And unfortunately, I think the more people are silent, the more these kind of monsters get away with things."

However, Lorita said the fear should always be on the perpetrator, not the victim, and her advice to any other victims is to confide in and tell someone about what happened to them.

I hope anybody else who hasn't had the strength to talk to anybody just yet, try and tell someone.

"And if they can't do that, if they want to just contact the rape crisis centers locally or contact the main phone number for them, that they can just talk to someone external to family or friends first, definitely do that because what they do is fantastic."

"I can only speak from my experience and I had a very, very good guard. I felt the DPP were impressive. I felt the judge was really impressive. There is an element of trust you need to get, and I think you'll get that from strength of minding yourself and going to counseling and building yourself up."

Speaking about the the process of rebuilding her life, Lorita said she was only able to do so with the support of her family, her close friends, and the services provided by both Cork Rape Crisis Centre and the Galway Rape Crisis Centre.

"What they've done for me is amazing and just slowly, bit by bit, you get a bit of strength," she said.

Lorita also said that she had take things relatively easy during the court process but was looking forward to the future.

"I'm really looking forward to the summer now to be honest with you and being able to plan things. I know from the aftermath of the cout process that I've dipped back into PTSD land a bit.

"I had booked holidays and things to do and it was our one-year anniversary last weekend, and we just had to cancel our plans because I literally had no energy to do anything.

"So I'm looking forward to actually just having the energy to do things again and I'm looking forward to just thriving in work and thriving in me and my husband's relationship and to planning some fun things to do," she added.

"There's lots of more exciting things to come. I don't feel there's any stumbling blocks in the way. I feel a bit freer now and more optimistic about the future."

- If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please click here for a list of support services.