'I didn't know who was going to take me': Cork schoolgirl on being orphaned after mother's death

Sarah Horgan talks to a Cork schoolgirl who found her mother dead at home in April. This, and the fact that her father had died when she was 10, meant she was an orphan. That's when the community and her school in Cork stepped in

Julia Pawlowska (centre) with art teacher Lorraine Naughton and Meghan Wallace, Nurture programme teacher in the art room at Coláiste Éamann Rís, Deerpark, Cork. 'I am so happy here,' says Julia. Picture: Larry Cummins

It is a deeply tragic, yet heart-warming story. In April, Cork schoolgirl Julia Pawlowska discovered her mother's body in their Wilton home. Anna Gol died unexpectedly after battling a number of health conditions. Julia’s father, Marcin, had passed away when she was 10.  With no family in Cork, and just one aunt in her parent's native Poland, Julia was now an orphan.

“I was in town for my friend’s birthday.” Julia recalls of April 4. “Mum wasn’t answering her phone. I was getting nervous and texting other people to find out where she could be. I knew that something wasn’t right so I took the bus home. That was when I found her. I felt shocked and so alone.”

After discovering her mum’s body, Julia called an ambulance. “Then I called my mum’s sister in Poland. All my friends that were at the birthday party came to my house when I called them. They stayed with me until the police and ambulance arrived. 

I’m glad that I had people there to comfort me. These were the people that I trusted the most, my closest friends. 

The grieving 15-year-old now had a funeral to organise. On top of that, she and her beloved dog, Diego, were facing eviction from their home as it was being reclaimed by the council.

“I was very stressed and didn’t know what I was going to do or where I was going to go. It was very tough. I didn’t know who was going to take me in. My dad passed away unexpectedly when I was 10 so I had known grief before. Maybe, that helped in a way, but it was still really tough.” 

 

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Julia’s principal and her teachers at Coláiste Éamann Rís stepped in to organise the funeral service.

“They did their best to give me what I needed which was overall support. They gave me gift vouchers to buy whatever I needed at the time, along with copies and school uniforms. I don’t think you’d find teachers like that in any other school. They helped me to organise the funeral. That was very tough but I’m glad we were able to sort it out together.”

New guardians

The next issue was where was Julia going to live? Born in Cork, Julia wanted to remain in her native city, but she now had no parents, grandparents, or siblings. Teachers at her school offered to take her in. So did her classmates. Julia opted to live with her best friend and a fellow pupil. That girl's parents have now become Julia’s legal guardians.

“Luckily, my friend’s parents decided to take me in so I now live with them. We have grown so close.” The family who opened their hearts and their home to Julia want to remain private, but it is working out very well.

"I grew up an only child so it’s amazing to have someone your own age to talk to and spend time with,” Julia says of her new life. “Even if you are just lying in your bed and scrolling through your phone you know that someone is there. Having that presence is so important. During the summer we all went to the park together. It was nice to feel part of a happy family.”

Diego, however, had to be re-homed. Julia explains that her new family are living in rented accommodation so were unable to take him in. Instead, Diego has been adopted by a teacher at Coláiste Éamann Rís so Julia can enjoy visits when she feels homesick.

'It was really tough'

The weeks that followed her mother's death were, understandably, very difficult for Julia.

“It was really tough. Even coming into school I was worn out with the whole thing. 

I didn’t have the energy to get out of bed but I knew that my principal Mr Wolfe and the other teachers would help me. I could trust them. 

Remarkably, Julia refused to miss a day of school after the tragedy.

“I needed the distraction. In school I can be myself so it was the best place for me. I think the others were surprised to see me. They were always very supportive and making sure to check up on me. I moved to Coláiste Éamann Rís from another school halfway through first year. Looking back now it was the best decision I ever made. I am so happy here.” 

In June, Julia sat the Junior Cert and next Wednesday, like thousands of other pupils across the country, she will get her results. The 15-year-old refused to let grief get in the way of her Junior Cert.

“I did think about not doing it [the Junior Cert] at one point but that didn’t last long. As much as I went through I had to try. I was able to get an extension for a junior cert art project after what happened. That was something I was working on for a few weeks. 

"It was a good way of distracting me when my feelings became overwhelming. The project was based on my parents so it gave me a chance to reflect and be grateful for what they gave me while they were still here. 

Julia's resilience

"Mum had mobility issues so it’s amazing what she went through just to support me and take care of me. I miss her cooking the most. She could cook anything from Polish dishes to Italian food. My dad was very outgoing. He loved adventure and took me everywhere. We went to the beach a lot.” 

“Grief comes and goes. It’s a complicated thing. No matter what I get in the Junior Cert I’m just glad I gave it a go.” 

Amazed by Julia's resilience, and in recognition for everything she has been through, staff at the school recently surprised Julia with a free holiday to New York ahead of a school tour there next September.

One of Julia Pawlowska's artwork. Art 'was a good way of distracting me when my feelings became overwhelming,' she said. Picture: Larry Cummins

“Going to America is something I’ve always wanted to do. I couldn’t believe it when they told me I was going. I can remember wondering if they were joking because it felt so unreal.” 

Principal of Coláiste Éamann Rís, Aaron Wolfe says he is so proud of Julia and also his colleagues. “Not only did she lose her mum, she also lost her dog and her home. She was going through all these things but still managed to come to school every day. 

"I’m also very proud of the staff that rallied around her. They came to her house and cleaned up, doing everything down to changing the bedsheets after Julia’s mum died. They wanted to have the house right for when her extended family came over from Poland. 

"We had staff members offering to take Julia in. Everyone wanted to take Julia. We are just so glad she has found an amazing family."