‘No means no,’ judge tells man who sexually assaulted ex-girlfriend

Court hears the man denied sexually assaulting the injured party, and claimed he kissed her by consent twice before she objected a third time

At Youghal District Court, Judge Miriam Walsh said it was a 'situation of unrequited love', and the accused needed to understand that 'no means no'.

A young man who was unable to accept the end of his relationship with his former girlfriend has been convicted of multiple offences in the district court, including sexual assault and criminal damage arising from two separate incidents.

The case was heard in camera at a recent sitting of Youghal District Court before Judge Miriam Walsh. The young man, in his 20s, cannot be named to protect the identity of the injured party.

Inspector Stephen Murphy outlined the details of the first incident that occurred at a music festival in 2025. The court heard the injured party — a woman in her 20s — attended the event with friends and was not drinking as she was driving.

The court was told the accused was subject to a protection order taken out by the injured party. While at the festival, the injured party said she saw the accused, who stared at her. 

When she was leaving and getting into her car at about 11pm, the injured party said the accused approached her with some of his friends, one of whom threw a drink at her car. She said the accused then spat on her car before she was able to drive away.

The court was told the second incident happened in the town where the accused lives. The injured party told the court she was driving her car along the main street looking for her friend who she had arranged to meet. Her friend did not arrive and the accused, who was standing outside a pub, approached her car and began trying to open the door.

The injured party said she offered the accused a lift home in order to placate him. She said when she got to the accused’s home, he tried to kiss her three times even though she told him not to. The injured party said the accused, who was highly intoxicated, grabbed her by the neck as he tried to kiss her.

The court heard that the accused then became irate, broke the rear view mirror and got out of the car and pushed the injured party up against a pole and smashed the windscreen and rear window of the car, at which point she called the gardaí. The court was told that when a friend of the injured party arrived to collect her, the accused also shouted abuse at him.

Defence barrister Shane Coleman, acting for solicitor Aonghus McCarthy, said the accused denied spitting on the car in the first incident or staring at the injured party, but admitted he did smile at her. 

The court was told the accused also denied sexually assaulting the injured party, and claimed he kissed her by consent twice before she objected a third time.

Mr Coleman said: “He does accept he behaved appallingly and apologises and would like to pay for the damage.” 

In a statement, the accused said he was “devastated” to read the injured party’s account of what happened and said: “I have a problem with alcohol and need to stop.” 

Judge Walsh said it was a “situation of unrequited love”, and the accused needed to understand that “no means no”. 

The accused was found guilty and convicted of breaching a safety order in relation to the first incident. 

In relation to the second incident, he pleaded guilty to being intoxicated in public, threatening and abusive behaviour and criminal damage. He was also found guilty of sexual assault and assault.

Judge Walsh adjourned the matter to November 12 when she asked that the Probation Service would give some indication of how long it would take to complete a probation report. 

She said the accused would need to produce €700 in compensation and enter into addiction and anger management treatment if it were deemed necessary.

This article is funded by the Courts Reporting Scheme