Two men and a surrogacy: Irish couple forced to stay in NY so they can have children

Parents Mark O'Looney and Eoin Cannon are looking to raise their daughters around their family at home in Ireland, but the lack of legal protection is an issue for the couple.

Mark O'Looney, left, with his husband Eoin Cannon and their daughter Aria, who was born via surrgoate.

An Irish couple living in the US has said it is devastating that their family is not recognised by Irish law.

Mark O’Looney and his husband, Eoin Cannon, are parents to one-year-old Aria and — just days ago — welcomed their second daughter, Nala.

Both children were born through surrogacy and share the same egg donor and surrogate.

Aria and Nala are the genetic daughters of Mark and/or Eoin. The couple decided that they would each donate sperm, but did not want to know which of them was the genetic father.

The two girls may share the same genetic father or they may not. Speaking to the Irish Examiner, Mark said that when their daughters are older, if they wish to know, then the test will be carried out and they will be told the result.

“We are a very open family,” he explained. Aria knows and has spent time with their surrogate, Haley, and they are also close to the egg donor who has met Aria and receives regular photos and updates.

With the arrival of baby Nala, and as Aria gets older, the fathers are keen to come home to Ireland to raise their girls.

The couple moved to the US six years ago when Mr O’Looney was selected by his company to take part in a prestigious programme that saw him do his MBA at Cornell Tech.

It was a “no brainer” to accept the year-long once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to advance his career, but Mark said the decision to stay on in the US was more to do with family.

Mark, Eoin, and Aria leaving hospital with newborn Nala, who shares the same egg donor and surrogate as her older sister.

Both men come from big, tight-knit families, and starting a family of their own was always on the cards.

After exploring the options available to them, the couple decided that they wanted to go down the surrogacy route.

“We knew we couldn’t have kids in Ireland. We said if we stay here, we can have our kids and then we can move home,” Mark said.

“If there had been surrogacy legislation in Ireland, we would have just moved back and started there. The reason for staying this long in New York is definitely because of having a family.”

The legalities of surrogacy are simpler in the US, but the journey itself was not always an easy one. The highs and lows have been documented on their blog, Two Men and a Surrogacy.

Almost four months into the pregnancy, the devastating news came that Aria’s twin brother, Shane Tomás, had passed away.

As they processed this devastating news, they were surrounded by their loved ones, and while at home a couple of weeks later, they held a memorial for Shane Tomás.

“It’s home. Ireland is always going to be home,” said Mark.

They have been lucky enough to be able to bring Aria on several visits to Ireland and spent last Christmas here.

The toddler loves her visits and getting to play with her cousins and spend time with her grandparents.

Mark and Eoin spent  last Christmas with their daughter Aria in Ireland.

Although, she has mastered the magic of technology with video calls while in New York, it is not the same as being with them.

Currently, there is no specific legislation for surrogacy in Ireland, and this is where the problems lie for Mark and Eoin and other couples in similar situations.

Irish legislation does not cover the specific legal issues that arise in surrogacy.

Instead, the legal status and rights of all people involved are covered by the laws dealing with non-surrogate births.

Where the baby is born abroad, DNA testing to prove the genetic parentage is necessary before the child can be taken to Ireland by a person other than the surrogate mother.

“The genetic parent can get citizenship for the child, after that their partner can get guardianship from the age of two and then will have no legal standing once the child turns 18,” Mark said.

This can raise serious issues including where there is a relationship or marriage breakdown or even the death of the genetic parent before the child turns two-years-old.

Mark said that it is unfair of the Government to request the genetic information of the child and parents, as it is not something that is required for all couples.

The US birth certs for both Aria and Nala list Mark and Eoin as the parents, but this is not accepted by the Irish Government.

“If we were a straight couple and we had gone to the US and came back with a birth cert that said a male and a female’s names on it, they would recognise that and they would not insist on a genetic test,” Mark said.

Mark and Eoin believe that the Irish law around surrogacy should treat all families equally.

“They would just go: ‘Oh yeah, you had your child in America. No problem. Here’s the passport, here’s the birth cert’, and everything like that.”

Mark has a brother who is also living in the US and has five children, all of whom hold Irish passports which were granted based on the US birth certs that list Mark’s brother and his wife as the parents.

“Because it is a gay couple, instantly they go: ‘You’re not both the parents’, and they question it.

“My problem is that unless you question all birth certs that are from a foreign country — if you’re recognising a birth cert from a straight couple, but not a gay couple — then it is discriminatory.

“They could have gone through a surrogacy journey themselves, they could have used double donors, you just never know.”

The lack of legislation results in many couples finding themselves in similar situations, and Mark believes that there needs to be one rule that applies to all — so that families are treated equally.

"We are both fighting for the same thing: That all surrogacy journeys be safe and ethical

Proposed legislation is currently making its way through the Oireachtas to legalise and regulate surrogacy, but Mark said that there are still gaps in the proposals.

While home last December, Mark, who is involved with the advocacy group Irish Gay Dads, met with Health Minister Stephen Donnelly to discuss the Health (Assisted Human Reproduction) Bill 2022.

At this meeting, Mark said that Mr Donnelly stood across from him and said: “From a Government and policy perspective, you and your family will be recognised — I assure you of that”.

After the amendments went in, Mark found that this was not the case.

These were written before the meeting on December 14, so it may be added as the bill continues through the process.

“Maybe our family will be covered in that, but I just don’t have hope now because it wasn’t covered in the amendments.

“I haven’t heard anything from Mr Donnelly to say that it will be covered.”

As the bill stands, an Irish citizen abroad who fits all of the criteria will not be recognised — as they did not begin the surrogacy process in Ireland.

Addressing Mr Donnelly, Mark said: “We are both fighting for the same thing: That all surrogacy journeys be safe and ethical.

“I understand that this legislation is complex, but unless all families are recognised by this legislation then why are we doing it?”