Cork mental health author blackmailed online 'disappointed by victim-blaming'

Cork author Daragh Fleming said he was glad he did not pay as it would have been the 'worst mistake to make'.

A Cork mental health blogger and author who was blackmailed online with intimate images has said he is surprised by victim-blaming and "shaming" language.

Daragh Fleming met the perpetrator who portrayed himself as a woman from Cork on Hinge two weeks ago.

The two spoke and built up a rapport before moving to Snapchat where he said the woman began to send him intimate photos.

They exchanged photos before he received a message on Monday morning which contained screenshots of the photos as well as his Facebook profile along with family members’ profiles.

Mr Fleming was told he had 10 seconds to stop the photos from being sent to his family.

After telling them to stop, he received a phone call from a man who said he was in Nigeria and told him to send €2,000 in Bitcoin through an app.

Mr Fleming refused to send the money, telling the perpetrator he could “send the pictures to my mom if you want, I’m not paying any money”, before blocking him.

Despite blocking the man, he received several messages on Instagram from “burner accounts” advising him the screenshots were being uploaded and he could stop it for a reduced cost of €500.

He blocked him again which was the last he heard from him.

“It was really, really challenging but I've had a lot of conversations over the last 24 hours and I think the threat of doing it is more powerful than the act of doing it.

“I’d imagine some people do pay because if the price was initially €500 when I was panicking, I probably would have paid,” he said.

Mr Fleming said he was glad he did not pay as it would have been the “worst mistake to make”, saying the perpetrator would have continuously asked for more money.

After the panic subsided, Mr Fleming decided to go public and "get ahead" and highlight the issue which he believes is going under-reported.

“Some people do take their own lives and it's just getting out the message that, at the end of the day, especially in the world we live in, if he did post my nudes, it's not the end of the world," he said.

Mr Fleming reported it via hotline.ie which he said was accessible and straightforward.

Although saying 99% of people have been extremely supportive, he is surprised by shaming and victim-blaming.

Friends asked him why he sent the photos and why he did not question if this was someone he could trust.

“What was really disappointing was that all those questions that I got personally came from women.

“You're implying that it's my own fault,” he said before adding: “There’s still a massive amount of stigma.”