Body dysmorphia sufferer: 'It is never too late to tackle eating disorder'
Keith Russell: 'Body dysmorphia is when you are constantly worried and concerned about your appearance and how other people will perceive you.' Picture: Colin Keegan/ Collins
A man who started tackling his eating disorder when he was 40 wants other men to know it is never too late to get help.
Keith Russell realised a year ago that he had body dysmorphia and undiagnosed eating disorders — after setting up his own blog and podcast on mental health issues.
He advises other men: “Never feel it is too late to say anything. I started making progress at 40. I lost out on my teens, on my 20s and probably my 30s because I bottled things up and swept them under the rug, as most men do.”
He has had bouts of anxiety and depression since his teenage years but had never spoken about it to people apart from his therapist.
During last year’s lockdown, he began his blog, following up with a podcast. When people discussed their eating disorder experiences on the blog, he began questioning his own behaviours around food.
He says: “I discovered a term called body dysmorphia which I had never heard of in my life and I did research into it and talked to my therapist about it, who told me I had been living with body dysmorphia for 20 years.
“Body dysmorphia is when you are constantly worried and concerned about your appearance and how other people will perceive you,” he explains.
He stopped going out with friends, and restricted sports and gym work because he felt too self-conscious.
“If I was out somewhere, I didn’t want to turn a certain way because I was afraid that someone would think my top was too tight on me. I would not want to play pool because I would have to lean over a table and I thought the weight on my lower back would show.
“There were certain things I could not change about myself and I had to live with them. But things I thought I could change, like the spare tyre around my waist, that is when the issue with exercise and food developed and it was the only thing I thought I could control.”
He restricted his exercise to at home because he didn’t want to go to the gym. Even though he was restricting food, he also engaged in binge eating for comfort.
After coming to a realisation he had a problem that needed to be addressed, he knew people through his podcast, which helped him.
He recalls: “I wouldn’t admit it to myself. Because I was binge-eating, I looked completely fine. I didn’t look like a stereotypical person who would have an eating disorder or any body issues and I pretended I was fine. But inside, I was hollow, I was miserable.”
Support and helplines:
- Bodywhys website: bodywhys.ie;
- Bodywhys Helpline: 01-210 7906;
- Bodywhys E-mail Support Service: alex@bodywhys.ie;
- HSE Eating Disorder Self-Care App.
