'Every child deserves to be loved. At the moment, I'm not sure the care system really does that' 

Thomas O’Driscoll from Castlegregory, Co Kerry, was born into a family already involved with social workers.
 Pictures: Domnick Walsh

“Love is a word that's really just entering our vocabulary in Ireland, but I believe that every child deserves to be loved. At the moment, I'm not sure the care system really does that,” says Thomas O' Driscoll, who has first-hand experience of the country's care system.

The youngest of four, Mr O’Driscoll was born into a family already involved with social workers.

“My early childhood was marked by poverty. My mom didn't have a blueprint of relationships to meet me at an emotional level. 

"My dad misused a lot of substances, and was extremely violent in all forms, including sexual violence. That was the starting point,” he said.

Mr O’Driscoll moved to residential care at seven, a placement which broke down at age 15 when he became a father and had to leave school to support his daughter.

At 19, Mr O’Driscoll finally got his own apartment and returned to education to finish his Leaving Certificate, a degree in Youth and Community Work from IT Tralee (MTU), and with support from Tusla, a Masters in Social Work from University College Cork.

He said that returning to education at 19 was the first time that he encountered really caring adults.

For a long time, I believed this self-fulfilling prophecy that the only place I would end up was either dead or in prison.

"Eventually, I met caring adults who actually started to believe in me, and that made the crucial difference,” he said.

Now a project worker with Kerry Diocesan Youth Service, Mr O’Driscoll says a total review and overhaul of the care system is needed, to put love at its core.

Thomas O’Driscoll says children can feel isolated when they are taken from the homes they know and moved in and out of different placements.

He describes how the current “corporate parent” system is often too much corporate and not enough parent.

He says children can feel isolated as they are taken from the homes they know, and moved in and out of different placements.

He also points to a lack of early intervention supports, and a high-legal threshold for intervention, which means that social workers only become involved with families at an extreme point, when it can already be too late to keep a family unit together.

He adds that teenagers in care are forced into an intense and accelerated transition to adulthood, as those in residential care must leave at 18, with no ongoing relationship-based supports into adulthood.

“I always ask, ‘If it was your own child, would you treat them that way?’ And the answer is always no. So there's something wrong there,” he said.

In 2020, Scotland published a forensic “root and branch” review into its care system, and how vulnerable children could be better loved. 

A similar review is also currently underway in England. Mr O’Driscoll says it's now time for Ireland to do the same.

“We need to look at how to ensure that young people feel seen, heard, and belong within the system, and feel that they are loved. 

"I would call on [Children's] Minister [Roderic] O’Gorman to leave a truly lasting legacy in office, and undertake a root and branch review, that will create a care system that puts love at its centre,” he said.