Rape victim: I have to take ownership of my own life

A woman who was repeatedly raped by her boyfriend while she slept says she has refused to let him destroy her life.

Niamh Ní Dhomhnaill said the ordeal at the hands of her Norwegian ex-boyfriend, Magnus Meyer Hustveit, had taught her the “power of love and the power of trusting in people”.

Ms Ní Dhomhnaill said: “I have let new people into my life. In the middle of all this I was able — although it was very difficult — to start a new relationship. I remember making a choice that I can’t let the actions of one person mar every other experience I have from here on out. I have to take ownership over this, I have to take responsibility and not become someone who is suspicious and does not talk to new people and thinks that everyone is out to get them.

“It’s a decision I made and I’m very glad I did. Part of recovery is that you know you have to keep going no matter how difficult something is.

“You have to make time to see people, to go for a run, to allow yourself to laugh if you find something funny, and you are not less a victim and not hurting less because you find something funny.”

Hustveit, aged 26, was jailed for 15 months earlier this month following an appeal after he was originally given a wholly suspended seven-year sentence after pleading guilty to one count of rape and one count of sexual assault.

He had moved back to Norway and set up home with a new partner but admitted to Ms Ní Dhomhnaill by email that he had used her body for his sexual gratification while she slept.

She told Newstalk’s Breakfast show that she had no regrets about going public: “I have read some horrendous things written about me but I do not take it personally. I had no control over anything once I waived my right to anonymity. I had no way of knowing it would explode in the way it did. I really did not think I would be doing radio interviews and there would be so much written about it. I can’t correct everything that is wrong and I don’t want to. What would that prove? I’m not going to get into an argument over the internet about minor details in the case.

“I am always going to be happy with my decision in going public because I never had anything to be ashamed of. I had no reason to pretend this was not me.”

Ms Ní Dhomhnaill said the initial suspended sentence was a dangerous ruling and that she was unhappy it took her going public and “a lot of people getting angry about it” for the ruling to change.

She urged other rape victims not to be put off by what had happened to her.

“Going public was difficult. It also had a silver lining — seeing other people’s outrage kind of validated that what he did was wrong.”