A canvasser’s handy guide to soft-soaping the electorate

There is nothing worse than getting a knock on the door when Gail Platt is having a tiff with her latest lover on the cobbles of Coronation Street.

Fine Gael understands that. The party knows how much we love our soaps, and equally hate to be interrupted when Manchester United are one-up against Liverpool.

So much so, that it has sent out a diktat to those canvassing on behalf of the party: “Don’t pick times when people are most likely not to be at home, or receptive — during televised sports events, blockbuster episodes of TV soap opera.”