Gay priest considered suicide over agony of keeping sexuality secret

As the first gay marriages were taking place in the Republic yesterday morning, in the North a man was outlining on radio how he was actively considering suicide because of his sexuality — and that man is a Catholic priest.

The priest’s part of an interview on BBC Radio Ulster’s Stephen Nolan Show had to be voiced by an actor because he feared ostracism not only by the Church, but also by his family.

While he said he knew he was gay when he was 10 years old, he admitted he still struggled with his sexuality.

“For someone to say it is a lifestyle choice is nothing short of a disgusting slur,” he said. “There are times I wish I wasn’t gay, so that dismisses the whole theory, in my view, it is a lifestyle choice.”

He said he had noticed people frequently using the lifestyle choice argument recently in relation to same-sex marriage, especially some politicians in the north but they did not comprehend what that does to a person psychologically.

“Saying it is a lifestyle choice, referring to gay people as not natural, that they have chosen to be that way, basically sickens me. Many gay men and women have taken their lives, some priests have done so because they felt demonised by such terminology.”

Asked whether being gay had pushed him towards the priesthood, he said “partly”.

“I suppose a lot of priests use it as a sort of cover for being gay, because priests do not marry. It’s a convenient way, perhaps, of dealing with it,” he said. “It took quite a time to accept it [being gay] as part of me and who I am. It has been a very, very hard journey. It has driven me, at times, to feel like committing suicide.”

He pointed to recent claims from a DUP member in the North that gay people are as they are because they do not pray or go to church. He pointed out he ministers to gay people in his role as a Catholic priest.

He was left disappointed by a Catholic Synod in Rome last month which was due to discuss homosexuality.

“There were great expectations from many within the Church that Pope Francis would take a most softer approach and would show compassion but the result was absolutely no change,” he said.

“It (the Church) says one thing and does another. It speaks of accepting gay people, that you should not discriminate. But i think it is very hypocritical when it comes to accepting if priests are gay.”