Rolling out: In transit from Portmagee to Poznan

They’re holding out for a Febreze sponsorship — and it looks like they are going to need it.

If you thought a campervan was the ultimate way of slumming it around Euro 2012, you’d be wrong. Five hardy souls from Co Kerry are taking the shoestring option to another level by piling in to a Ford Transit minibus for a three-week jaunt around Poland.

Driving from Portmagee to Poznan and back to follow the Irish team will require alcohol, accommodation, and industrial supplies of air freshener.

Even more so considering the five lads — Bernard Casey, Cian Boland, Kevin Fitzmaurice, Callum Smith, and Ian Galvin, all aged between 20 and 23 — have ripped out the very amenities that previously made the van habitable.

Bernard said space was a more important consideration than more trivial concerns such as food and hygiene. The crew is even considering recruiting another soul to join them to cut down on costs.

“It had a ridiculously big shower and kitchen which we weren’t going to use, to be honest,” he said. “It was very narrow and dark, so one of the lads said: ‘Rip the whole lot out.’ So that’s what we did.

“We painted a tricolour on the outside and on the inside, put a bit of carpet down.

“We are putting two bunks either side of it, so that’ll sleep four, then we will have a table and chairs which will fold out into a kind of double bed, and one of the lads will be driving.”

They are also bringing a tent “in case of cabin fever” or, after three weeks, a complete mental breakdown.

Given the lads have ripped out all vestiges of bodily hygiene and food preparation, Bernard admitted that six men in a confined space for three weeks would eventually take its toll. “Well, that’s what the tent is for. I’d say we might look into getting sponsorship from Febreze or something because we’ll need it. If some of us need a break from the bus, we can always use the tent.”

The old school minibus will take them from Kerry to Rosslare, across the sea to France and, after a night here and there in France and Germany, on to Gdansk in time for Ireland’s second match against Spain.

For his part, Bernard has been taking any shift he can get at his local shop in order to chip in his money for the bus, insurance, and some much needed spending zloty.

“I’ve been working pretty much solid for the past month in the local shop here in Portmagee to earn as much as I can before I go. I’ve also been doing a few comedy gigs locally here to top up the cash a bit, so I should have enough.”

Whatever about spending money, the most important things they need is transport and accommodation. Everything else, such as food and tickets, are seen as a mere speedbump in the road to Poland.

“We haven’t had a smell of tickets,” said Bernard. “I got offers for the Croatia game but we won’t be there on time for that game, but we will stock up on what we need.

“We will get a bit of booze in France, I’d say. Sure it’s way cheaper over there. Food-wise, it’ll be a hell of a lot of noodles. We had a four-ring gas hob but we are not sure yet if we will bring it. We are fairly tight for space as it is.”

Priorities, as always, are everything.