Male stars fail to cut a dash on red carpet

Tomorrow, the Oscars red carpet will echo to the calls of “who are you wearing?” as some of the world’s most glamorous women parade the latest offerings from the great and the good of the fashion industry.

Cameras will pan up and down their length searching for the slightest imperfection before quickly hunting for the next actress/victim.

However, unless they happen to be of the ilk of Brad Pitt or George Clooney, chances are the men either accompanying these talented women — reduced for one night only to mobile clothes hangars — or walking the red carpet as a result of their own acting triumphs, will slip into the ceremony largely unnoticed. And it would seem that’s just as well.

One might think “how badly can you get it wrong with a tuxedo?” It would appear, very.

Fashion watchers have begun to take note, not just of the latest Versace number on the actresses, but also the tailoring of the actors.

It has been noted Brad Pitt committed the fashion faux pas of wearing suit trousers that were too long and puddled around his shoes at the Screen Actors Guild Awards. There is also disquiet at the millionaire actors who fail to splash out on the appropriate bow tie to best complement their dress shirt.

“That whole black shirt thing is terrible,” designer John Varvatos has said.

“When you’re talking about these kinds of awards shows, with the elegance of most of the women, the men should be a counterpoint to that.”

Fashion watchers say some men display their “renegade” natures by adding loopy improvisations: sneakers or Samuel L Jackson frock coats or open-necked shirts.

Or they will monkey around in some way with monkey-suit perfection — unless, that is, they happen to be George Clooney. Gorgeous George always looks Rat Pack immaculate. He has, of course, an obvious advantage.

“George has an easy and understated elegance about him,” said Giorgio Armani, who has dressed the actor for years. “He wears the clothes rather than the clothes wearing him.”

Clooney’s many advantages tend to be shared by members of his demographic, male movie stars: men who are generally rich and handsome and able, at a snap of their fingers, to command free clothes from the best designers in the world. “For a movie star to look pathetic, it takes a lot,” one fashion wag said.

Perhaps Brad Pitt is not the clotheshorse one might wish, she added. “But anyone can tell him those pants don’t fit.”

According to designer Tom Ford, men’s tailoring comes from uniforms and “all uniforms look pretty great”. Yet, as he told the New York Times, there almost seemed to be fear which he puts down to ignorance. “I sound like an old man, but we’ve lost manners. I didn’t grow up in a wealthy family. But we knew the rules. We knew an afternoon wedding was a daytime suit, black shoes were worn with blue suits and brown shoes with grey.”

Meanwhile, Sacha Baron Cohen, in a statement issued as his character from The Dictator, “applauded the academy” for taking away his right to free speech after organisers warned him not to arrive at the ceremony as his character from the film, General Aladeen.

He scorned the academy for not nominating any “classic Wadiyan films such as When Harry Kidnapped Sally, You’ve Got Mailbomb or Planet Of The Rapes”.

“On top of all of this, I paid Hillary Swank $2m to be my date and she will not refund a penny. My Sunday calendar is now as empty as a North Korea grocery store. Death to the West, death to America and good luck Billy Crystals — fantastic!”

More in this section

Puzzles logo

Puzzles hub

Text header

From florist to fraudster, leaving a trail of destruction from North Cork, to Waterford, to Clare, to Wexford and through the midlands ... learn how mistress of re-invention, Catherine O'Brien, scammed her way around rural Ireland.

Execution Time: 0.212 s