Social media and texting used in abuse of women

TECHNOLOGY, including social media and phone texting is becoming a major factor in how women are abused, according to a leading organisation working with the victims of domestic abuse.

Women’s Aid claims various forms of modern technology are being used by abusive partners to monitor, stalk and control women, particularly younger females.

Women’s Aid director Margaret Martin said there was a growing trend of young women in dating relationships being affected by violence and abuse with perpetrators often using texting and websites such as Facebook.

Ms Martin said many misconceptions about violence and domestic abuse remained, including the notion that they only occurred in older, more established relationships.

She said research had shown that young women are also at risk from violence from their boyfriends, with almost 60% of those reporting severe abuse from a long-term partner claiming such abuse first started when they were under the age of 25.

Over half of the 39 women aged 18-25 killed in the past 15 years were murdered by a boyfriend or former boyfriend.

She also pointed out that leaving a relationship did not always end abuse as almost 20% of women continued to be abused, stalked and harassed by former partners.

Launching the organisation’s annual report, Ms Martin said 13,575 incidents of abuse were reported by callers to the Women’s Aid helpline last year, with three-quarters carried out by a current or former male partner.

They included 588 cases of sexual abuse, of which 213 were rape by a partner.

There were also 1,658 specific incidents of child abuse reported by callers, while almost 3,000 other callers disclosed that children were living in situations where their mother was experiencing domestic violence.

One in 10 incidents of marital rape were being witnessed by children, according to Women’s Aid.

Ms Martin claimed marital rape was an even more hidden type of abuse than domestic violence.

She also claimed there were gaps in the law which meant some women could not avail of legal protections such as barring or protection orders. They included women who had never lived with their partner, even when they had children, as well as young women being stalked by ex-boyfriends.

Ms Martin said the incidence of financial abuse was also growing.

“It is not a new story due to the recession. It’s just that women are more trapped than ever before. Some women have to account for every cent they spend,” she observed.

Women’s Aid claim one in five Irish women in a relationship will experience some kind of abuse — physical, emotional, financial or sexual, while one in three will never tell anyone about the abuse they suffer.

Meanwhile, Ireland was yesterday urged to sign the groundbreaking convention on preventing and combating violence against women and domestic violence.

Just 10 EU countries have signed up to the Council of Europe convention that the UN says should act as a guideline to legislation to deal with violence against women.

Andrew Cutting of the CoE said that up to 45% of women have experienced some form of violence with more than 10% suffering sexual violence.

‘Text after text, calling me names.’

Case study: Niamh’s story

MY ex-boyfriend, Dave, used to put me down in front of my family and friends all the time, and the way he would just give me that look sometimes — that said you’re in for it.

He was always yelling at me, calling me all kinds of names. I couldn’t take it any more so I told him that I didn’t want to be with him. He started accusing me of cheating on him, of having my eye on someone else. He called me a “slut” and said he had only been with me because I was easy.

I thought because of all the things he said I would never hear from him again. And I didn’t for a few weeks. Then the texts started — first in the middle of the night and then all day long. Text after text, calling me names, then telling me how sorry he was and that he loved me and wanted to get back with me.

I wanted nothing to do with him, he flipped too many times. I changed my mobile phone number so he couldn’t text me any more.

It all stopped for a few weeks and I was so relieved. I thought it was over. Then I got a message on Facebook from two of my college friends accusing me of calling them “sluts” and of blaming them for what happened between me and Dave. I was sick in my stomach and began to dread going back to college in September. I just couldn’t make sense of what had happened.

Then the worst thing ever happened. I logged onto my Facebook account to find my profile picture had been replaced by a nude one. I didn’t even know when the photo had been taken. It looked like I was asleep. There were lots of comment posted by all my friends. It was horrible. I didn’t know what to do, I was so embarrassed and so scared.

Then I saw a post from Dave which just said “slut”. I knew then he must have been able to access my Facebook account. I just logged out and didn’t know what to do, what people would think.

I felt so relieved when Women’s Aid told me it wasn’t my fault and they had heard of this happening to other women.

I changed my Facebook passwords. I’m still really hurt and embarrassed about what happened, but at least most of my friends understand.