It’s in the can: Mathematical formula holds secret to perfect Guinness head

FINALLY, after spending millennia defending their work from claims it has next to no relevance to daily life, applied mathematicians have found a fool-proof equation to support their profession.

And, with just days to go until St Patrick’s Day, the discovery could not have come at a more appropriate time.

New research from the University of Limerick has uncovered a potentially lucrative answer to the age-old riddle of how to get a perfect head on a poured can of Guinness.