Eamon’s halo in need of a polish

MINISTERS of State and the state of some ministers was the talk of Leinster House yesterday as the junior rung of government was announced.

After insisting at the election they would slash the Bertie-era jobs for the boys bubble of 15 mini- minister posts to just 12, Fine Gael decided this was one part of the public sector that did not need ruthless job cutting after all.

The Fine Gaelers insisted the situation had changed “in negotiations” for coalition government, but Labour said they knew nothing about it.

Which means that a) Labour is so good at brow-beating the Blueshirts, it got what it didn’t even demand, or b) Fine Gael tried to pull a fast one.

Indeed, Enda Kenny’s handlers were full of bright ideas and clearly decided he needed easing into the top job and that his first public engagement as Taoiseach should be to do a bit of light colouring-in.

Enda excitedly pointed out he’d chosen a blue felt pen as he threw himself into a photo-op to draw pretty pictures in the park with some children which was intended to raise awareness about the upcoming census.

As well as boosting Enda’s colour recognition skills, this event should also be good news for achieving a reality check for the Government as the census is rumoured to be likely to reveal that more than half the people in this country are, in fact, women.

This may come as news to Mr Kenny and his Tánaiste Eamon Gilmore as they seem quite content to have just two women in the 15-member Cabinet.

And the fact that said women were given the portfolios of children and social welfare — effectively the nanny and house-keeping roles in government — adds to the air of political patronisation.

But just when you thought this Government could not dig itself any deeper into a gender-offender hole, up pops Ruairi Quinn.

Education minister Mr Quinn taught us all a lesson in 1950s-style thinking by justifying the children’s portfolio post in Cabinet going to Frances Fitzgerald on the grounds that she’s a woman, and women spend more time with children than men.

So, why, oh, why was the Minister for Food not a woman as well, Mr Quinn?

After all, women — or to give them their proper name under this fresh, modernising, government, ladies — spend most of their time in the kitchen, so would be perfect for the role, surely?

Mr Gilmore was left playing equality catch-up when the junior posts were revealed as he gave three of the six posts in his gift to the women he had so casually overlooked for Cabinet rank.

Eyebrows were raised at the exclusion of Ciarán Lynch from the list, while said eyebrows again peaked upwards at the inclusion of Alan Kelly.

The somewhat colourful and tempestuous Michael Ring, who rallied to Enda’s aid during last June’s heave even though the two had never enjoyed the warmest of relationships, was much miffed at his lot after being handed the tourism and sports brief, especially as arch-rebel Brian Hayes was given the most important junior job at finance.

Labour’s deputy leader Joan Burton was putting a brave face on her effective demotion to Social Protection, but the way she was treated by Mr Gilmore has left a lot of ranker in the party.

Emerging from the church service to mark the return of the Dáil, one of the leading FG anti-Enda heavers quipped that the chances of receiving a telephone call inviting him to be a minister would depend on whether one believed in a vengeful god or a merciful god.

For that particular rebellious sinner, Enda turned out to be a merciful god, but for Joan fans, St Eamon’s halo suddenly looks in need of a polish — maybe one of his ministerial ladies will take the duster to it for him.