Votes: The final frontier for starship Enda-prise

THESE are the voyages of the starship Enda-prise. Its 23-day mission: to explore strange new worlds (winnable seats), and to boldly go where no Blueshirt has gone before (well, not for 29 years, anyway) — a general election victory!

Captain Enda T Kenny: Captain’s log: Election date 2:2:11

“We have landed on Planet Cavan. It is a remote civilisation in the Border nebula.