Political animals stake their claim as kings of the jungle

LIFE was wild in the Dáil as the big beasts battled with each other to stake their claim as king of the political jungle.

The Wildlife Bill saw much breast beating, and more than a little logic cheating as a flash of manic animal magic engulfed the Leinster House zoo.

Mattie McGrath refused to be whipped through the Dáil, escaping from his Fianna Fáil shackles and shedding his nickname as the “back-down boyo”.

The Tipperary TD had threatened to refuse to jump Government fences many times before only to see his spirit broken at the last second. But not this time, this time Mattie would stand up and be counted, well sit down and abstain actually, as he refused to join colleagues in the walk-through vote to ban stag hunting – despite fellow Fianna Fáilers gathering around him like a troupe of primates unable to comprehend why he was not following the lure of the Government banana.

But Mr McGrath was sticking by his principles – funny no FFers had the spine to do that on welfare cuts, but clearly a Meath deer hunt is more important. Labour’s Tommy Broughan also decided he was born free and refused to back his party’s shameless decision to oppose the ban as it sucked-up to the rural vote it has previously spurned.

Meanwhile, would-be big cat killer Richard Bruton finally emerged from his lair. Now, war mongering Japanese Emperor Hirohito and mild Blueshirt Mr Bruton may at first glance appear to have little in common, but both share a line in understatement.

The Emperor attempted to cover his nation’s surrender to the US in 1945 after the second atomic bomb smashed down on Nagasaki with the rather upbeat assessment: “The war situation has developed not necessarily to Japan’s advantage.”

While not quite in the same league of denial, Mr Bruton’s first public comments on his botched coup attempt could also be seen as somewhat light, especially as they are headlined on his blog as “An Eventful Few Weeks for Fine Gael”.

Eventful Richard? Whatever did you chaps get up to? Oh, that’s right, it’s all coming back now, you “eventfully” let Brian Cowen and the Cabinet completely off the hook when the banking probe laid much of the blame for the crisis at FF’s door as Fine Gael was busy self-indulgently ripping itself apart for six days.

Mr Bruton’s bullish blog is certainly all about positivity, but there seems to be two words missing from the 703 carefully thought-out ones on display – now, what are they again? Ah, yes, strangely, “Enda” and “Kenny” are totally absent.

This is clearly because Mr Bruton is still smarting about the outcome and way his role in the heave has been recorded. “They say that winners write history,” he mused: “And perhaps this is true of the recent events in Fine Gael too,” he writes in a manner suggesting he is not yet ready to move on. Indeed, it what may be a telling insight into his frame of mind, Mr Bruton takes a swipe at Labour, arguing it is only popular because voters treat the economic slump like the death of a close relative.

Mr Bruton contends voters will return to the FG fold once they leave Labour behind in the anger and depression stage. Yet the whole tone of his blog outpourings suggest he himself has yet to reach a stage of reconciliation.

All this drama as the Taoiseach and Mr Kenny locked their stag horns over the issue of water charges. The Taoiseach tried to talk down to Mr Kenny, insisting his “tough new persona” would not wash, mimicking the FG leader’s questioning style as: “Tell me now, what’s in the Budget?” Before insisting: “Can’t do it, sir!”

Mr Cowen may have intended to come across like a hunter gatherer, but instead, he sounded more like Fuzzy Bear.