Book brings on the baby blues

IT was a left foot Lionel Messi would have been proud of.

The paperback dropped to the floor, coasted across the laminate and shot between the legs of the heaviest armchair in the house, coming to rest dead centre beneath its immovable bulk. Gina Ford was no more.

Kicking defenceless paperbacks is admittedly not the most civilised of behaviour but in her attempts to put manners on the Tasmanian dust devil that masquerades as a six-week-old baby, child-rearing guru Ford had managed to turn its mother into an unrestrained lout.

The purchaser of the book pleaded (from behind the protection of a large frying pan): “But it was on special offer. Look at the big green sticker”.

The mother snarled: “And what exactly does that tell you?”

The Tasmanian dust devil opened jaws so wide they seemed to engulf its whole head, and wailed.

Fair play to Ford. She has made a good living out of bad mothers. Or women who think they are bad mothers. And when the tiny scrap you’re meant to know intimately and calm instinctively is actually an absolute mystery who defies all attempts at consolation, you definitely think you’re a bad mother.

To be told then that to make baby cry less you must let them cry more, and that to coax them into a routine they resist you must impose an even more rigorous one, is to hear that you need a coldness of heart that will only add madness to the badness.

Some people like routine. They join the Army or become bus drivers. Others detest it with ear-piercing passion and will resent its imposition like a survivor of Chairman Mao’s reeducation centres.

For the baby who falls into the latter category, learning that calm, quiet and shut-eye can be as rewarding as calamity, cacophony and infinite insomnia, takes time, reassurance, a mother who can eat Duracell batteries and a child-rearing guru who can keep her distance.

Eventually the book was retrieved from under the armchair. It left the house amid a crate of used gift-wrap and cardboard casing from musical mobiles, destined for a shelf at the recycling centre.

Probably someone picked it up, brought it home and was forced to plea: “But it was free. And it’s good to recycle.” Here’s hoping he had a large frying pan.

High praise for rigid routines on parenting site

Before my son was born my mum, who worked for an obstetrician, kept telling me that yet another patient had recommended the Contented Little Baby book (CLB) by Gina Ford and swore by the routines and advice it contained. I got myself a copy and in turn, have become a CLB advocate who wouldn’t dream of living life any other way!

Although we DO go through the odd “phase“, I consider ourselves to be extremely lucky because in general, we have a baby who is thriving on the routines and seems to be a textbook CLB. Every day I find myself appreciating our situation and thankful that life with a baby is, in fact, easier than I imagined.

Thank you Gina for your incredible work and your life-saving books! We are eternally grateful.

* I brought The CLB when I was pregnant I read it and re-read and to be honest it scared me rigid, that this expectant bundle of joy would need such a routine. How wrong could I have been!!

At about 5 months I introduced my son to the routine and to be honest within 2 weeks our house was one of peace (well as much as it can be!) and harmony and we have never looked back.

* What can I say that the others didn’t? The CLB book has meant the world to me!

I was introduced to it when I was 6 months pregnant. I decided that it was the routine and advice that I was going to follow. It seemed too easy — not anything like all the people was telling me: sleepless nights, non-stop crying baby, was this to good to be true? I must say my daughter is now 9 months old and probably the most contented little girl in the world.

I can’t stop myself telling people about the books and what it did for me and I feel sorry for those that don’t use the books. I’ve never had a sleepless night and she is the happiest little girl.

Thanks Gina, don’t know what I would have done without your advice!

* Life before the book was difficult, I was at my wits’ end and did not know how I could demand feed (which I had been told was best) and get into a routine, which is, of course, impossible. A friend of mine gave me the CLB book which she had from another friend of ours and it saved my life. My daughter, and as a result myself and my boyfriend, are so much happier. I couldn’t have coped without it, structuring her day had helped with her colic and at two months she is sleeping from her 10pm feed through to 6.30am. We still have a few things to sort out but we are getting enormous amounts of help from the Contentedbaby.com website and as more problems arise (as they do), we tackle them with the continuing help of Gina, her team and the other CLB mothers (and dads too).

Can’t imagine life without you!