Mayday call to rescue 300 airport jobs

TWO egos crash-landed at Dublin Airport last night leaving 200 jobs dead and 300 more lingering in intensive care.

Reasons for the unfolding employment disaster remain disputed, but Tánaiste Mary Coughlan has long been suspected of running on empty, while Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary is fuelled by a highly combustible cocktail of self adoration and Government disdain.

Ms Coughlan seems to have been flying blind since being promoted to the post of Unemployment and (Lack of) Enterprise Minister 21 months ago.