‘News sandwich’ will not soften the blow of Brian’s bad day
The fun-size information delicacy was first created for Gordon Brown – Europe’s other ex-finance minister crowned leader without a contest who collapsed in the polls when early popularity was swept away by a cack-handed response to the economic crash.
The daily tally of woe flowing into No 10 Downing St became so great that fearful aides started delivering the latest blow in what they called a “news sandwich” – which meant they put the big chunk of bad news in between two slices of good news to try and soften the blow and make it more digestible for the notoriously grumpy prime minister.
You can imagine the scene in Government Buildings as Fianna Fáil adopts a similar tactic here: “Hello Taoiseach, we made a better stab at the Eurovision than last year! Yay! But you’ve plummeted in the polls again, the election’s gonna be a disaster and the Government’s own chief banker has cast serious doubts over your dodgy €90bn bailout gamble for all that toxic property – but on the bright side, green shoots of recovery on the jobs front as a hair salon in Kerry is taking on an extra Saturday girl!”
Mr Cowen refused to be drawn on the chaos engulfing the National Assets Management Agency wheeze – he clearly couldn’t stomach a ba-Nama news sandwich, and instead continued his curious campaigning tactic of canvassing without letting any actual voters get in the way.
Last night saw the Taoiseach turn up at a nearly empty community centre in the Dublin Central constituency to walk around it for 10 minutes with a rather chirpier candidate in the form of Maurice Ahern – who had brought his little brother Bertie along for company. This very much being Bertie’s turf still, due respect was shown to the local Don and it was Bertie’s Mercedes that led the Taoiseach’s down the narrow streets of terraced houses to their destination.
The walk around the deserted community centre was nearly as glum an affair as the launch of Fianna Fáil’s European campaign had been at the RDS earlier in the day.
The bland national slogan “We are better working together” could well have been chosen as a warning to Mr Cowen’s backbenchers not to rise up against him after the expected drubbing – the subliminal message sent to the rebellious-minded TDs being: “We’d better work together – or we hang together.”
The Taoiseach refused to answer questions about the inevitable threat to his leadership after a poll collapse on June 5, instead insisting Fianna Fáil was fighting hard to win every seat – especially, it would seem, Delusional Central.
It seems the Taoiseach’s lack of positive feedback on the ground is being mirrored by Brian Lenihan’s so-called charm offensive through the world’s financial hubs. Asked how that little tour was going, the Government’s top banker, National Treasury Management Agency boss Michael Somers told a Dáil committee: “We are not loved in the capital markets at the moment, it’s not a warm embrace”, before admitting he did not know how the Nama-drama was going to work at all.
After a day like that, night fell for the Taoiseach even harder than his ratings in the polls – better keep that news sandwich away from him, with all the bad luck on his plate at the moment he’d probably choke on it.
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