Nets of a different kind close on Enda and Bertie

DESPERATE to shed the look of a dial-up Dáil deputy hopelessly overtaken on the Bertieband information superhighway, Enda Kenny showed he was down with the Bebo kids yesterday by announcing the internet “is where the action is”.

Indeed, some Endanet web conspiracy theorists have long wondered if Mr Kenny has not been just an elaborate computer generated image these past six years as leader of the opposition — a kind of centre-right Shrek.

This would explain the continuity problem with his ever changing hairstyles. However, CGI reports are obviously nonsense as that would require the Fine Gael leader to be animated, and no one could seriously accuse him of being that on any subject in recent memory.