Bertie feels so at home — in the mud

BERTIE Ahern hardly needed the flashy green wellies he was sporting at the National Ploughing Championships as mud never seems to stick to him no matter how deep in the mire he appears to be.

For those into all things agricultural this festival is a sort of Disneyland with added dung, and the perfect place for a tormented Taoiseach to put the unpleasantness of Dublin Castle and the Dáil behind him.

However, reminders of his recent rough ride were everywhere, though rumours proved unfounded Mr Ahern would boycott the sheep dog trials in case any were found guilty and he would later be forced to give evidence to a tribunal over exactly what he knew about their crimes.