Time-out method of punishing children is ‘harmful’

A LEADING parenting specialist has warned that the increasingly popular “time-out” method of punishment harms children.

Clinical psychologist and presenter of the television programme Families in Trouble David Coleman said sending children to be by themselves after they have misbehaved is counterproductive.

And “the step” punishment favoured by some US-based reality parenting shows is sending children the wrong message.

“The message underlying your punishment time-out is, ‘you are so bold you have to go away now and stay away until I am ready to have you back’.

These messages are hugely rejecting to children. When children feel rejected you are more likely to see an increase in difficult behaviour rather than a reduction,” he explained.

Mr Coleman is critical of the in-vogue method of punishment which has parents sending their children to the bottom step of the stairs to think about what they have done.

In his new book, Parenting is Child’s Play, he said people should be wary of following the lead of US television shows.

He said punishment in general is a self-defeating exercise and children soon learn to get away with being bold because they can cope with the result.

“For some children the negative consequences or punishments might be worth the infringement.

“Being made to sit on the step for six minutes might be worth the pleasure of giving a good hard slap to your brother,” he said.

The book argues that it is better to reward good behaviour with the likes of star-charts rather than go over the top when children are bold.

It also deals with issues from across a broad spectrum of parenting, including how to get young children to have a good night’s sleep.

He said it is important not to give babies sugary drinks, milk or fruit at night and it is better for parents to sleep in the same bed as their children when they are waking up crying at night.

This goes against popular convention that it is dangerous for parents to sleep in the same bed as babies.

“I think it promotes security, attachment and confidence. As a bonus, many small children and parents sleep better when they sleep together.

“Babies, if they wake and cry, can be responded to instantly, rather than become distressed as a parent struggles to get up and stagger through the house to find and comfort them,” he added.

Mr Coleman also argues that it is bad to force young children to eat at mealtimes if they refuse food.

He said even babies know they have to eat but they do not necessarily want to do so at regular mealtimes.

The book says it better to give a child small portions more often and get them used to eating full meals.