Rampant Rabbitte runs into a spell of trouble

RED-FACED Labour Party press officers are being sent back to school by Pat Rabbitte to cut down on their spelling gaffes.

Their release of the leader’s itinerary for his trip to Cork yesterday stated that he would be visiting The Lock (The Lough) and Middleton (Midleton).

The comedy of errors continued on his walkabout in the city centre when he stopped outside Brown Thomas and chatted with Catherine Walsh, from Cove Street. She said she was a Labour supporter, so the entourage felt sure that was a vote secured, until she informed them that she’d be on holiday in Marbella on polling day.

“Suits you, sir,” Eddie Mullins of Fitzgerald’s Menswear commented as Rabbitte walked by. Handshakes were exchanged and there were smiles for the camera.

The Labour leader thought he’d made a hit, especially when Eddie offered to fit him out. But as soon as he’d left Eddie pointed out that he wasn’t likely to be voting for the Red Rose party. “Micheál Martin’s sister-in-law works for us,” he added.

Outside Penneys, Mr Rabbitte tried to shake the hand of a foreign lady, who obviously didn’t have a clue who he was.

In fact her facial expression suggested the terror of a woman who was about to be mugged.

One elderly lady who said she was from Mallow, but refused to give her name, then got stuck into Mr Rabbitte. “How can ye keep all these promises ye’re making. I don’t think I’ll vote at all, I’ve got very disillusioned.”

The leader’s handlers carefully steered him past the Ann Summers shop on his way into the English Market, thus skilfully avoiding a possibly embarrassing photoshoot with the store’s most popular product — the Rampant Rabbit.

Throughout the walkabout, Mr Rabbitte seemed to attract a lot of attention from middle-aged women; not that they admitted seeing him as a sex symbol.

Farmgate restaurant owner Kay Harte said: “I wished him well, I admire Pat Rabbitte very much and I think Kathleen Lynch is a great woman.”