Crafty spin all part of Bertie’s Dáil battle

EARLIER this week, Labour leader Pat Rabbitte claimed Bertie Ahern would play cricket on some spare patch of ground if he knew there were votes or populist appeal in it.

Well, the Taoiseach seemed to take him at his word for he came into the Dáil yesterday with the gimp of legendary Australian spinner Shane Warne about him (ok you have to use your imagination a bit).

Verbally, Ahern delivered most of Warne’s bag of tricks to the unsuspecting middle-order of Fine Gael, including the unfortunate Bernard Allen. He fired all kinds of spin-balls at Allen when the Cork deputy faced him, including googlies, leg-breaks and flippers. And he also proved adept at Warne’s other legendary skill — sledging.

Sledging is defined as the rough and coarse insults Australian fielders and bowlers throw at opposition batsmen to intimidate them and put them off their game.

In fairness to Ahern, there was an element of provocation there. From the moment he got into the chamber it was clear his disposition wasn’t as sunny as the day. And you could see that the constant low-level heckling from the opposition was beginning to get under his skin.

Things went from bad to worse when the Labour leader returned to one of his favourite themes this year — private hospitals being built on the grounds of public hospitals. The Taoiseach returned to one of his favourite answers of the year — his response to Rabbitte was an almost verbatim copy of an answer he has already given several times this year.

Even after Pat Rabbitte started getting nasty, the Taoiseach’s gasket remained just about intact.

“It is not acceptable for the Taoiseach to come in here with sleeveen, weasel words about the HSE,” accused the Labour leader at one stage.

But Bernard Allen had been chipping away and with his next jibe, Ahern’s gasket was well and truly blown.

He turned to the Cork North Central deputy and bowled: “Is Deputy Allen and Fine Gael opposed to co-location.”

Allen tried to parry it away with: “I am opposed to making business out of health.”

But Ahern was only beginning the over. “Will he also change the tax law,” was his next crafty spin.

Another weak stab with the bat from Allen: ” I do not want big business to be made from health.”

Ahern was now piling on the pressure: “Is the Deputy opposed to changing the tax law?”

Surprisingly enough Mr Allen responded with: “I am opposed to making big business out of health.”

So relentless was Ahern’s onslaught that Allen was caught leg before wicket and it was up to team captain Enda Kenny to come in and intervene.

“The Fine Gael Party is opposed to the sale of public lands at public hospitals for private hospitals.”

As Kenny spoke, the Taoiseach was standing with folded arms glowering at him, looking as intimidating as a bully-beef bouncer at a provincial nightclub.

It was great stuff. But it was certainly not cricket.