Dáil theatrics back after six-week break
The first performance of leader’s questions this year saw Bertie Ahern playing Grumpy, Enda Kenny far from Happy, and when Conor Lenihan shambled in six minutes late we all knew who was still Sleepy.
Snow White appeared as the colour of the cloth devotees of St Brigid leave out at this time of year to ward off illness, according to Mr Kenny, who reminded TDs of the long-forgotten practice in order to deliver another of his agonisingly lame soundbites which eventually wound round to a tenuous link with the Government needing to wave the white flag on health care.
It was one of the crowbar comments his handlers foolishly hope will get him a moment on the TV evening news and thus a few, brief seconds in the national consciousness. But unfortunately for Fine Gael, the only thing about their leader that commands much public interest these days is his ever changing hair.
To match the angry mood of a Dáil reluctantly returning to session after a mere six weeks’ holiday, he had dumped the fluffy “Fancy Dan” boy band number which turned so many heads before Christmas and replaced it with a 1950s-style slicked-back biker look.
Grumpy didn’t seem impressed with the creation as he continued to deliver a masterclass performance in bad humour.
What cancelled operations? the Taoiseach spluttered. What was wrong with doctors and sick people, how could they get things so wrong? he sulked. “In the first six months of last year, 10,368 operations were postponed, not cancelled,” he snarled showing a level of disingenuousness so marked and mean-spirited it briefly stirred the opposition benches to life.
Labour’s deputy leader Liz McManus was beside herself at the Taoiseach’s attitude and had to be slapped down by the Ceann Comhairle as he reminded her: “You’re not the leader of your party.” To which she barked: “I appreciate that!” A comment which seemed to cause Pat Rabbitte to stifle a wry smile.
At this point Blueshirt villain (or perhaps prophet) John Deasy slipped onto the Fine Gael benches as Enda loyalists suppressed the urge to hiss the entrance and Fianna Fáil backbenchers were sunken in such gloom they missed the opportunity to shout at Mr Kenny “He’s behind you!” in true pantomime style.
Six weeks off and the minority of TDs who bothered to show up had sloped back into the chamber with the stroppy-ness of a sullen teenager forced back to school — meaning that, once again, it was the taxpayer they had cast as Dopey.
