St Bertie reborn as party faithful take on heretics

THE 5,000 Fianna Fáil disciples who gathered at Dublin’s Citywest for the adoration of the Bertie were not fed with loaves and fishes, instead they feasted on jibes and disses directed against the opposition heretics who had dared try and take down their Taoiseach.

The crowds thronged and swooned in his presence, all surging to touch Bertie as he moved among them in a way not so much mysterious as delirious. This was the second coming of the Taoiseach, reborn in the fire which, for a moment at least, had threatened to destroy him. Not surprisingly, no one mentioned the parable of the money lenders in the temple.

Mr Ahern’s only oblique reference to the unpleasantness of the autumn came in the line: “We would all, I am sure, lead perfect lives if hindsight were foresight.” Quite so, and if monkeys were dolphins they’d live in the sea. But, what on earth was it supposed to mean?