The Family: It’s all about respect
Apparently, you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. Unless you’re Martin Cullen and you voluntarily spend five years with the PDs foster family before snuggling into the FF bosom.
Just as well that families are a forgiving bunch.
Being a catch-all family, it takes all kinds to make up Fianna Fáil. Rugger buggers even infiltrated the group earlier in the day as the rugby match from Twickenham rolled out to its climax.
Being an FF gathering though, a debate on the cause of the present poor state of Limerick hurling could be heard in the bar in the final tense minutes.
What a family nonetheless. Hanging around the foyer all day was outcast son Michael ‘Tax’ Collins from Limerick West.
And there sitting on the podium for the leader’s speech was the prodigal daughter Beverly ‘Libel’ Flynn. Keeping a pretty low profile was the mammy of them all, Mary ‘Recollection’ O’Rourke, who never misses or forgets a meeting.
Speaking of tribunal witnesses, concern was expressed on the first night about the absence of the black sheep of the family, Ned ‘Rashers’ O’Keeffe from Cork East, when he was at a different function in the city.
The worries arose not for his wellbeing, but rather were connected to his pending testimony to the Mahon Tribunal about his knowledge of an alleged encounter between Liam Lawlor and Tom Gilmartin in the late 1980s.
But there was the bold renegade himself for the leader’s speech and brimming with enthusiasm. Now that the family squabble in Connaught-Ulster has been sorted out, all the Euro election candidates were introduced to the crowd, with predictably Seán Ó Neachtáin getting the heaviest applause and the loudest cheer.
Rather than using the opportunity of having 5,000 people trapped in the hall of the CityWest Hotel to flog his electronic voting machines, Miniature Cullen peeped out over the top of the podium to deliver the traditional warm-up act.
“Labour have a leader who wakes up in the morning with voices in his head telling him the foundations of the State are being rocked again,” he sniggered.
Fine Gael were like a set of clocks on the wall, none of them agreed with each other and Enda Kenny would need to resort to a Dulux paint chart to incorporate all the colours of the alternative government.
Rattling at Sinn Féin, the Miniature for the Environment said the Irish flag doesn’t belong to one party, and he put down the Greens for their ‘mumbo jumbo’.
Playing to his audience, he wound up for the killer blow: “Once again Fianna Fáil delivered this week. We gave rural Ireland back to the people of rural Ireland,” he roared to huge applause.
The baton was then passed to the man Martin the Machine described as superseding Henry Kissinger as the peacemaker of the world, Brian Cowen.
To the strains of Coldplay, the EU president himself arrived, sashaying through the middle of the crowd and hopping on to the stage.
The Boss hit all the right buttons on the economy, Europe, the US, transport, crime and of course decentralisation, which was going to transform Dublin to the beautiful city it was meant to be.
Presumably by getting rid of the civil servants and culchies.
The Bert finished his script and began waxing lyrical off the cuff. Obviously inspired by Ireland’s historic win over England, he proved yet again that, when he wants to, the Taoiseach is perfectly capable of speaking in a coherent and constructive fashion.
“It’s always nice to win a match. It’s always nice to beat world champions. It’s even better when it’s England,” he said.
That was that and to the strains of Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow the rush began to get to The Bert’s side for the photographs.
When John O’Donoghue made his way to shake The Boss’s hand, there was the master Donie Cassidy in his slipstream to slot in behind The Bert’s shoulder for the cameras.
Making it a family affair, up came The Boss’s daughter Georgina for a kiss on the cheek.
Just to show families are a forgiving bunch, Seán Ó Neachtáin got a warm handshake, Jim McDaid a big hug and Frank Fahey a hearty holding of his hand up in the air by The Boss.
Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone was sung in the background and the one big happy Fianna Fáil family went off for a few pints together.
