Missing you

MISSING. This one word cannot describe the range of emotions it brings when it must be used to describe a family member or friend. And yet it is a word that describes hundreds of Irish people who for one reason or another, disappear from the lives of their loved ones without a trace.

Each year in Ireland, between 1,800 and 2,000 people go missing. Most are returned to their family within days, but each year, about 20 people fail to turn up, causing untold heartache for the family left behind. Last year was a bad year for the families of missing people. By the end of 2001, 67 people remained untraced.

Anyone of these families will tell you the same thing; it’s the not knowing which is the hardest to bear. One day the person is there, going to work, laughing at a friend’s joke, arguing with a partner about whose turn it is to wash up, and the next day they are gone, without a trace, without a word.

Fr Aquinas Duffy is no stranger to the emptiness that a missing family member can bring. His 20-year old cousin Aengus or Gussie Shanahan went missing from Limerick on Monday, February 11, 2000.

“The word ‘missing’ in no way describes the sense of helplessness, frustration, anger, and despair that goes through one’s mind. It doesn’t describe the limbo of not knowing whether they are alive or dead. Always, there is the desire to know where they are now and what happened to them. While the vast majority of people who go missing in Ireland are found, statistics don’t give you great comfort if you happen to be one of the 1% of families who continue to have someone still missing by the end of the year,” Fr Duffy said.

In a bid to help find his cousin, Fr Duffy set up a website. He was quickly contacted by many families with missing loved ones, to include their details on the site, and so www.missing.ws was born. Since April 2000, the site has had more than 56,000 visits, and families keep hoping that the next person to click onto the site will provide a vital clue or jog the memory of someone who might help them find their loved one.

The family of 24-year-old Trevor Deeley, from Co Kildare, are hoping a high-profile campaign in Northern Ireland will provide such a clue and perhaps give them some comfort this Christmas.

Trevor’s picture and details will appear on every two-litre milk carton sold during December in supermarket chain Iceland’s 33 stores in the north. Trevor went missing on his way home from a Christmas party on December 8, 2000. He was last seen at 4.19am on CCTV, as he walked to his home in Serpentine Avenue, Dublin.

Despite his family’s continued efforts to publicise his disappearance with ad and poster campaigns, they have heard nothing in two years. But they remain hopeful of his return.

“It can be difficult when you suddenly come across a poster of him on a lamp post but it is reassuring to know that the interest is still there,” his father Micheal said at the start of the milk carton campaign

“This anniversary will be hard and as for Christmas, it is a non-event for us. It’s just another day really, waiting for Trevor, hoping for a phonecall and waiting for the doorbell to ring.”

Trevor will be the seventh Irish person to feature in the Iceland missing person campaign, which has been running in Britain for four years and extended to Northern Ireland two years ago.

Run in conjunction with the British National Missing Persons Helpline, the campaign has been a massive success. A different person is featured every month on Iceland’s own-brand milk and is chosen by the Helpline personnel. The choice of person is linked to some date like a birthday, and in Trevor’s case, highlights the second anniversary of his disappearance. To date, one third of the cases featured on the milk cartons have been resolved.

“We really have had a very good response from the public to the milk carton publicity. One third have been resolved, which is really great. Without the help of Iceland or the public, we wouldn’t be able to resolve as many cases. We really rely on people’s goodwill,” a spokesperson said.

She said they would love to be able to extend the campaign to the rest of Ireland to help locate many more people. “We certainly have the cases and we would certainly have more of a chance to resolve them if this campaign was extended,” she added.

Iceland only have eight stores in Dublin and so don’t provide own-brand milk. Dunnes Stores declined to comment on whether it would consider getting involved.

THIS time of year can be particularly tough for families, although many say Christmas is just like any other day, waiting by the telephone. However, Ann Meade, spokesperson for Victim Support, the organisation charged with operating the Irish National Missing Person’s Helpline, believes families feel the loss of loved ones more acutely at Christmas.

“People who are absent from the family circle come into sharper focus at this time of year. We are expecting to take a lot of calls over the coming weeks, both from families with people who are missing and from those who have lost contact with a loved one over the years. Our main function is to listen. We understand trauma and know how to support someone at difficult times,” Ms Meade said.

The helpline was set up in October of this year on a pilot basis. Funded by the Department of Justice, it will be in operation for one year. The helpline is open Monday to Friday from 10am to 4pm and has already received countless calls from families looking for advice, support or information. Victim Support are hoping the helpline will become a permanent feature. “It really must be extended after the pilot scheme is over. Every other country operates such a helpline. Ireland should as well,” Ms Meade added.

Without the helpline, many families will find it difficult to get through the festive season, particularly starting a new year with no news of the family member they simply describe as missing.

“It is perhaps Ireland’s greatest secret, that there are so many who have disappeared and whose cases remain unresolved,” Fr Duffy said. “If you are a person who is missing, please do phone home or contact me. It is enough (for families) to know that you are alive.”

Contacts

National Missing Persons Helpline: 1850 442 552 www.missing.ws for Irish missing people, and at www.missingirishpeople.com and www.missinginireland.com. Founder Fr Aquinas Duffy at [e-mail] or 01 4519638

British National Missing Persons Helpline: From Ireland is 0044 20 8392 4545, freephone number from Ireland is 00 800 7000 7001 or freephone from the UK is 0500 700 700. The British organisation has a teletext on ITV on Page 346

Channel 4 Teletext page 171 has a ‘lost contact’ section. You can have a message posted there by sending a postcard with details (30 words max) to Lost Contact, Teletext PO Box 297, London SW6 1XT or Fax [phone].

Traceline operates in Britain and provides a confidential tracing and letter forwarding service for around stg£30, but only where contact is in the interests of the person being sought. Tel [phone]

The Salvation Army also run a family tracing service, tel [phone] or email: [e-mail], or website: www.salvationarmy.org.uk/familytracing