‘Life was unbearable. We were not getting any sleep’

MARY and Pádraic O’Hara once begged their local health board to find someone to care for their two youngest sons so they could get a night’s sleep.

"They allowed us to go as low as we possibly could before they actually agreed to help us," recalled Mary yesterday.

But, the toddlers, who both suffer from a severe form of autism, proved to be such a handful that the health board has now run out of foster parents.

Mary and Pádraic, who live in Kells, Co Meath, have four autistic children Cionnaola, 3; Séadna, 4; Blaine, 8, and Oisín, 12.

Their oldest boy, Fionn, 15, does not have autism but has a learning disability. All but the two youngest are in mainstream education.

"All of our children were only diagnosed a year ago, so it has been quite a shock for us," said Mary.

Mary and Pádraic's family was one of four included in a documentary made by RTÉ's Primetime so viewers could see the everyday struggle that parents of autistic children face.

Mary said she and her husband are both severely depressed and on medication.

"If we had the services we need we would not need the drugs to deal with what is called a 'reactive depression' caused by the children's situation," said Mary.

When their children were diagnosed with autism, their oldest son had meningitis, and both Mary and Pádraic were at breaking point.

But the North-eastern Health Board said they could not help them.

"Life was becoming unbearable.

"We were not getting any sleep at night and were struggling through the day," said Mary. At the end of their tether, they eventually presented themselves to the health board and declared that they could not cope anymore.

"The board panicked and set about finding a foster family who would mind their two youngest, and most troublesome, children at weekends.

The weekend breaks allowed the couple to have a night's sleep and give better attention to their three older children. But, because the young boys are so difficult to manage, the board has run out of foster families willing to mind them.

Mary, like a lot of parents in her situation, is now considering taking a High Court action to force the State to provide the services her sons need. They have already appointed a barrister and solicitor and believe they have a very good case. Both toddlers are now inappropriately placed in a mainstream playschool.

Mary said the boys should be receiving a form of specialist education, but intervention for autistic children is only available in seven schools throughout the country. Their names are currently on the waiting lists in the schools nearest to their home.