Kyle’s organ donation a comfort to parents
Yet, seven years on, they draw comfort from the fact that his donated organs are helping to keep others alive and healthy.
“When we realised Kyle was not going to survive, we decided to donate his kidneys and cornea,” says Tony, 46, a garda with the traffic unit in Kells, Co Meath. “We have never regretted that decision.”
Tony, who lives with his wife and two children, Elden, aged 16, and Kasha, aged 11, in Navan, Co Meath, knows more than most the benefits of organ donation. Barely two years after his son’s death, in an extraordinary twist of fate, he received a donor organ.
As the Irish Kidney Association launches its annual appeal today, he reflects on both the loss of his son and his own close call.
Uppermost in his mind is the vivid, painful moment on Friday, January 30, 1996, three days after the accident, when the life-support machine was turned off as his son lay motionless in intensive care at Beaumont Hospital in Dublin.
“Kyle was 12 years and nine months when he died and we were both devastated by what happened. But we are glad to this day that we donated his organs.”
It is the knowledge that they made the correct decision in their darkest hour which still helps Tony and Adrienne cope with their great loss.
“The comfort doesn’t come immediately. It is one, two or five years later that you know you’ve done the right thing. You still feel the loss. After all, it is a life sentence that never goes away. But we do get solace from knowing that there is a part of Kyle that is still doing good.”
Tony’s own illness came out of the blue within nine months of his son’s death, yet he is convinced that the two are connected. “I still think the trauma of losing Kyle brought on the condition. My body must have been in such a shock.”
At first he put the constant tiredness and exhaustion in the months following Kyle’s death down to a symptom of grief.
“We were both distraught and my wife thought I had thrown in the towel. I had no energy and eventually I got myself checked out,” he says.
The diagnosis in October 1996, was devastating. Tony had contracted IGA nephropathy, a life-threatening kidney disease. He eventually went into renal failure and was put on dialysis.
Then, towards the end of 1998 a donor match was found. The transplant operation was performed by surgeon Denis Hickey, the former Dublin footballer. It took place in Beaumont, the same hospital where his son, a gifted student and athlete, died.
Despite all he has been through, Tony is still grateful for the act of kindness which helps keep him healthy today, so much so that he has become an outspoken advocate for donating. “I would urge anyone to carry a donor card,” he says.
He still does a full day’s work, is grateful for the distraction and yesterday was getting ready to present a trophy in his son’s honour.
“Kyle was exceptional academically and at sport, particularly handball and tennis,” says Tony as he left to award the Kyle Gavigan Memorial Trophy for Olympic handball to the winners of the Co Meath schools final.
Another recipient with reason to be grateful to a donor is Derek Hegarty, from Terenure in Dublin. He received a kidney from his brother Terry in 1987, the kind of live donation which the Irish Kidney Association is particularly anxious to promote. The transplant was a complete success and Derek went on to participate in the World Transplant Games in Japan where he scooped four gold medals.
Living with a donated kidney hasn’t stopped him in his work, either. Derek is an architect/interior designer and has worked on various large projects, including the construction of the Irish Financial Services Centre.
While Tony can look to the future, the memories will always be with him. “Only those who have suffered it know what it is to lose a child. Life is very fragile.”
