BMW 840i Gran Coupe: quite simply a sensational car
The BMW 840i Gran Coupe - 100km/h in 5.2 seconds and on to a top speed of 250km/h.
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BMW 840i Gran Coupe |
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Rating |
★★★★☆ |
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Price |
from €104,060 - €123,840 as tested |
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Engine |
a straight six silken beauty |
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The Spec |
careful with those extras |
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Verdict |
nailed-on greatness, but not cheap |
Henry Ford himself — the great automotive innovator and car maker — once said “the most beautiful things in the world are those from which all excess weight has been removed from”.
For the pioneering Irish-American industrialist and visionary, the most beautiful things were not so much those grossly bloated cars favoured by Americans in the 1930s, ‘40s and ‘50s (and even the ‘60s, ‘70s ‘80s and ‘90s), but the ones which had been pared back to their essential elements to reveal an intrinsic core splendour.
Ford was never the most sentimental of human beings, but a stunning looking automobile was more likely to stop him dead in his tracks than anything else around him.
He might have loved the industrial beauty of a production line (which he effectively invented), but a good-looking car, shorn of eye-catching but gewgaw-esque paraphernalia, beat the lot.
He was a card-carrying petrolhead, of course, and today his wisdom stands — unadorned and unashamed — as the metric by which any self-respecting car designer should set out their stall.
Of course that cannot and does not apply to every one of the many avenues of car design that the designers themselves and the audience at large demand. But when it comes down to those things which will actually make people stop and gawp, there are few which can achieve the feat like a sensational motor car.
We drive one of them this week.
The car in question is the BMW 840i Gran Coupe and while purists and/or idealists may cavil about where this beast actually fits into the company’s line-up in historical terms, the fact of the matter is that those in charge at the iconic ‘four cylinder’ building in the Am Reisenfeld district of Munich, made the decision and the rest of us can like it or lump it.
The 8 Series — the E31 — was initially unveiled in 1990 and was originally only available as a two-door coupe. It was a 2+2 design and, of its time quite a thing of beauty for what would then have been widely agreed to be a GT — or grand tourismo.
From a mechanical point of view the original 8 Series was innovative in that it was one of the first cars to offer a V12 engine mated to a six-speed manual gearbox, it had a drive-by-wire throttle and was among the first BMWs to offer a multi-link rear suspension.
With a long, low slung body, pop-up headlights and a terribly svelte demeanour, the car was indeed a beautiful thing but, sadly, poor sales consigned it to the history books by just 1999. Since then — no more eight series.
But, like any good conjurer should, BMW kept this particular trick in its corporate pocket until it was needed to keep an expectant audience happy. On June 15, 2018, the company finally launched the successor to a car as much loved for its beauty as its abilities.
The G15 model was unveiled that day as the new 8 Series and while there were those that maintained it was ‘only’ a gap-filler for the less than successful 6 Series, only not burdened by whatever baggage that particular beast left in its aftermath. So it might be, but the fact remains that BMW knew it could not simply badge-engineer true beauty.
And, unless you are in immediate need of a visit to an optician or even an ophthalmologist, you will have to agree that this thing is indeed a wondrous looking beast.
Although BMW might have watered down the original two-door coupe concept to now include a convertible (G14) and this, a four door ‘Gran Coupe’ (G16) they have indeed produced a gob-smacker.
Dressed in its stunning Frozen Bluestone Metallic overcoat (which is a €3,796.83 extra, for the faint-hearted among you), the 840i Gran Coupe would stop traffic in Bangalore, not to mind Ballymoate.
Certain elements of the car — the lippy boot lid, especially — are redolent of the Chris Bangle era of design at the company, but believe me that does not lessen the visual impact. Even the two extra rear doors don’t water down the beauty.
Under its long slender bonnet is a straight-six petrol engine of 2,998 cc which is turbocharged to produce 340 bhp and 500 Nm of torque. This in turn allows for a 5.2 second 0-100 kph time and a top speed limited to 250 kph.
Now, if those figures are in and of themselves the kind that might spark mild bemusement and a slight fear that it is a raucous, rollicking, rock 'n’ roller, worry not.
For those — like me — who like such things the engine actually provides a stimulating aural accompaniment while delivering a punch which while necessarily visceral is still as smooth as expensive chocolate.
The standard M Sport and optional M Technik (€2,324) packages offers technical stuff like uprated brakes, limited slip diff, an aerodynamic package and more esoteric things like better seats, special seat belts, as well as 20” wheels and tyres.
You can dip further into your pocket for adjustable roll bars and rear-wheel steering, but there is no real need as this package is quite competent enough to satisfy even the most demanding pedaller.
Adjust the settings to, say, manual gearbox, no ESP and ‘Sport Plus’ driving experience and you’ll have your hands full — too full perhaps. Stick with the sport gearbox setting and everything else in comfort and your hair will still stand on end (if you have any).
Although longer than the regular coupe because of the added rear doors, the 840i Grand Coupe is no less agile than its sibling and even though power is driven through the rear wheels only in this car, it will only become a handful if you’re pushing to anything over eight-tenths or really dumb. And trust me, on the open road, eight-tenths of potential is plenty.
With the steering unencumbered with added wheel-driving duties, the car is sharp as a crease and while a point-and-squirt driving style is not optimal here, you will find the reactions on offer to be superbly managed.
The 2+2+1 seating layout (effectively meaning there is a third seat in the back) is a bit of a misnomer because if you were not a contortionist before trying to occupy the middle rear seat, you will be certifiable as such afterwards. Otherwise the car is the paragon of comfort and luxury it is supposed to be.
I wouldn’t quibble with Henry Ford assertion about pared-down cars being the best, but while the 8 Series Gran Coupe is far from being a lightweight, it is still a thing of intrinsic beauty and if you can get to the bottom of it performance-wise, you should consider yourself to be a master of the driving craft.
