RTÉ has appointed a new south-east correspondent to a position which has been vacant for the past four months.

It’s the first Sunday of October and you’ve just landed at JFK and, this being midday local time, a hundred county finals back home are into their closing stages. This you know because Pepsi Sister has Sunday Sport on the radio in – she being the successful one of the offspring - her fire-engine red Jeep, writes Enda McEvoy.

This letter addressed to ’Séan who sings like Neil Diamond’ got delivered