London ambulance crews “sat watching” the 7/7 atrocity unfold on TV for more than an hour before they were dispatched to one of the bomb sites, an inquest heard today.

A live actioner based on a popular (with teens) illustrated novel featuring Gordon as Geoff Heffley, a lad suddenly faced with the perils and pitfalls of Middle School, that curious Stateside institution where gross-out embarrassments and humiliations come in a ghastly non-stop stream.