In one of those ludicrous articles where players’ putative contractual valuations are bandied about, Harry Kane was priced at €330m on Saturday. What’s he worth now, I wonder, after striking out last night? More to the point, what’s De Gea to be booked in at — half a billion?

Eric Cantona does not speak about football much any more, but when he does it is always worth listening.

DIMITAR BERBATOV continued to outshine Wayne Rooney for Manchester United last night as he began by promising “to create beautiful things on the pitch” and stayed true to his word by inspiring his side to a comfortable 3-0 victory over Newcastle United in a game in which magical team-mate Paul Scholes was the real artist.

IT was the sting that shook the Bertie.