The easiest way to approach this morning’s column is with a simple thought-experiment.

It’s always been one of my favourite anecdotes, but given an apparent lack of relevance to groin strains and lengthy suspensions, I’d never expected to be able to air it in this corner of the paper.

ALTHOUGH Joyce Kilmer might disagree, trees seem to be the loneliest and most isolated living organisms in creation. Imagine living your life stuck in the same spot for hundreds of years.