IMAGINE the scene. The troika is finally going home. There’s a deputation wrapped in Tricolours seeing them off at the airport singing, “We’re the best small country in the world in which to do business” in part harmony.

Ireland’s three living presidents shared a massive €799,181.03c pension, salary and allowance pot last year — and returned just €91,081.96c to the hard-pressed public they serve.

The Mahon Tribunal was unable to identify a mystery man who “made the Mafia look like monks” by demanding a €5m bribe from developer Tom Gilmartin in the ministerial corridors of Leinster House.