“Michael Owen has been a disgrace and must be stripped from the position immediately.”

What will become of us now, The People Who Couldn’t Enjoy It? The people who almost wanted the flag to go up on Sergi Roberto, but who knew that it was never more certain that a flag would stay down, asks Larry Ryan

Will you be able to distinguish between quotes from Owen and lines from Steve Coogan’s greatest creation?

Former Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand has come to the defence of current manager Louis van Gaal but also criticised the Dutchman’s team for lacking attacking ambition.