LA local Mark Hayes rates the world’s biggest music ticket: Coachella

Do you like sand? Are you a fan of idiots? Are you into feeling like death? Well, my friend, you might just like Coachella. I know I sure don’t.

Do you like muppets? Are you a fan of underage drinking? Do you like an endless sea of flower crown selfies and feeling like you’re stuck in a maze on drugs in an Urban Outfitters? Well, my friend, you might just love Coachella. I know I sure don’t.

Do you pretend to like music? Are you a fan of queues? Do you like dry heat and posing? Well, my friend, just go to Coachella. I know I sure won’t.