Deirdre Reynolds takes a trip to the Holy Land in Israel
Hypo-christian, cultural Catholic and à la carte Catholic: just some of the labels applied to people like me who are more likely to see the inside of an Easter egg than a Church this weekend.
Like the 3,860,999 others who ticked the ‘Roman Catholic’ box on the last census, I was baptised by a priest as a baby, still have the rosary beads I got for my First Holy Communion, and carefully hand-picked a saint’s name (Francis) for my Confirmation.
Two decades on, after jetting 2,500 miles to Israel’s capital to follow in the final footsteps of Jesus just days before the worldwide celebration of his resurrection, it’s clear you can take the girl out of the convent school, but you can’t take the convent school out of the girl.
Snaking through the heart of the Old City, Via Dolorosa is just one of the religious sites that attracts around 3.5m visitors of all creeds to Jerusalem each year.
Latin for ‘Way of Sorrows’, for subscribers to the New Testament at least, it’s held as the path along which Jesus carried the cross he eventually perished upon.
Dotted with schools, churches and cafes, however, more than than two millennia later, the pretty cobbled route couldn’t be further from Mel Gibson’s gruesome portrayal of The Passion.
Over the centuries, the ancient city has been gutted at least twice and captured and recaptured more than 40 times by everyone from the Ottoman to the British empires.
Religion may have ripped the Middle-Eastern melting pot asunder, as you pass through Zion Gate in its 16th century walls though, it’s also the very thing still holding it all together.
With shrines sacred to three faiths, Jews, Muslims and Christians flock to the holy city to stay and pray, and if you don’t find God there, you probably never will.
At Mahane Yehuda market a short stroll away, crucifixes and anointing oils are flogged alongside kippahs and menorahs, while Church bells and the Islamic call to prayer simultaneously puncture the mid-morning air.
Even within the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, where the last five Stations of the Cross are found, six denominations including Catholics and Coptics battle it out to worship the same entity in their own unique ways
Climbing the narrow stone stairs to Calvary and ducking to enter the nearby tomb is certainly a leap of faith.
But that didn’t stop hundreds of devout tourists from queuing to catch a glimpse of the traditional sites of the crucifixion and burial, or this slightly more cynical one from lighting a candle, just in case.
Witnessing a row of women weeping openly at the Western Wall, one of the last surviving remnants of King Herod’s rebuilt Jewish Temple, indeed I couldn’t help but wish I had some of their faith, and scribbled the desire onto a tiny a piece of paper before pushing it into one of the cracks in the stonework as is customary.
Leaving daylight behind in the Western Wall tunnels, pilgrims or just backpackers can get even closer to where Jesus reputedly once stood, giving the temple its mystical power.
Irrespective of your spiritual leanings, getting up close and personal with the historic Dead Sea Scrolls on display at the Israel Museum is simply a must during any trip to Jerusalem.
Then again, if you’ve flown from Dublin to London to Tel Aviv with budget carriers like I did, you may be more interested in the excess baggage fee-beating Nano Bible that’s also housed at the country’s foremost cultural institute than the 734cm-long Great Isaiah Scroll.
No bigger than my smallest fingernail, incredibly, all 27 books of the New Testament are squeezed onto the silicon chip, a feat that appears even more miraculous once you’ve visited the expansive Qumran Caves outside the city where the scrolls were first unearthed by a Bedouin shepherd in 1947.
While Jesus spent 40 days and nights praying and fasting in the Judean Desert, modernly commemorated during Lent, these days you can just take an hour-long jeep tour to sites such as Mount Sodom made famous by the bible.
Meanwhile, I barely managed to go 40 minutes without eating in the Holy Land, never mind 40 whole days.
Chomping my way through a feast of biblical proportions at kosher restaurant The Eucalyptus back in the city, however, I swear I died and went to vegetarian heaven.
Fried cauliflower, stuffed dates, vegan ceviche and seaweed caviar were just some of divine dishes served up by chef Moshe Basson during the 11 course supper — hopefully not my last.
With more than 300 wineries now scattered throughout the land, there’s no fear of having to turn water into wine either.
It is worth making the seven hour trek to Jerusalem just to experience floating in the Dead Sea once in your life.
Stuffed as a Medjool, mind you, it probably took divine intervention to ensure I bobbed to the top of the salt-laden lake renowned for its healing properties.
Boasting a heavenly mix of food, faith and floating though, as a bucket list destination, I’m definitely converted.
HOW TO GET THERE
As there’s no direct flight from Dublin to Tel Aviv, I flew to London Luton Airport with Ryanair (€168 return, www.ryanair.com ).
I stopped at the Holiday Inn overnight (£80, www.holidayinn.com/luton ) before travelling on to Ben Gurion Airport with Easyjet (£212 return, www.easyjet.com ). Once there, it’s just over an hour’s drive to Jerusalem.
WHERE TO STAY
Overlooking the Old City, you won’t do better than the five-star Inbal Jerusalem Hotel for amazing breakfasts and comfortable beds ( www.inbalhotel.com ).
Beyond the capital, I stayed at the family-friendly Daniel Dead Sea Hotel ( www.tamareshotels.com/daniel-dead-sea ), where you can grab a towel and float the day away.
WHERE TO EAT
At 290 Israeli Shekel (just under €67), The Eucalyptus Restaurant’s King Solomon Feast is sensational (www.the-eucalyptus.com).
Beside the Dead Sea, I kicked off my high heels for a Bedouin-style spread at the Taj Mahal, an air-conditioned tent with a Moroccan vibe (www.2eat.co.il/eng/taj-mahal).
WHAT TO DO
King Herod’s mountaintop fortress, Masada, depicted in the 1981 epic starring Peter O’Toole, Yad Vashem Holocaust History Museum and Ein Gedi Nature Reserve are some of the sights and sounds I squeezed into a jam-packed five days in Jerusalem.
Visit www.goisrael.com  for more ideas. There’s a camel ride in the Judaean Desert and a night-time spectacular at the Tower of David citadel.
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